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“I remember the wedding. The reception is a blur, though.”
“Derek…”
“I know, Grandmom.” I sigh and stare up at the darkening sky. “I know.”
We stay silent as we walk around the central fountain, moving down the return path when she murmurs, “You are well, aren’t you, Derek?”
A week ago, I wouldn’t know what to say. By all accounts, my life is perfect. My career is a success, and my parents and siblings are happy and healthy. But those things don’t absolve me of the lingering struggles from what happened with Kyle.
Life felt empty, but these last couple of weeks—being home and spending time with Olivia—have made me the happiest I’ve been in a long time. I’ve barely thought about work. When I do, the pain that usually presses against my chest, making it hard to breathe, is barely more than a dull ache.
“I’m well, Grandmom.”
Knowing eyes scan my features. Her expression softens, and she pats my arm. “I hope so, my sweet boy. Not just for your sake. Your parents worry about you.”
Guilt twists my stomach. “I know.”
Leaves rustle in the trees as we make our way back to the building. I escort Grandmom into her private apartment and help her onto the couch. “Is there anything I can get you before I go?”
“Hand me my tablet, would you?” She motions to the device. “I want to show you something.”
Some people’s grandparents struggle with technology, but not Paula Lawson. The woman is quick at figuring out how to use the newest devices and apps with hardly any help from anyone. Had she been born in a later generation, I have no doubt she would’ve been a tech genius in her own right.
I walk to the end table where the tablet is charging and bring it back to her. She opens the photo app and scrolls through pictures. I sit down next to her, expecting her to show me an old picture of some family member I barely know, but I’m surprised when she taps on an image that isn’t old at all. In fact, it was taken less than two years ago.
In the center of the image are Avery and Adam from their wedding reception. They are dancing, pressed together, as they stare up into each other’s eyes adoringly. But that’s not what Grandmom wants me to see.
She taps the screen twice and zooms in on the right side of the photo.
Breath lodges in my throat as I take in the sight of me and Olivia dancing in the background. The image is grainy, but I can still tell how gorgeous Olivia looks in the form-fitting bridesmaid’s dress. My hand rests on the small of her back while the other holds her hand in mine. It wouldn’t be a notable image except for the fact that we’re kissing.
And I have absolutely no recollection of that happening.
CHAPTER 21
Derek
I can’t sleep.I lie on my too-short twin bed, staring at the faded glow-in-the-dark stickers on the ceiling. The picture of me and Olivia kissing is seared in my head—haunting me.
My initial reaction had been to deny the image was real. Grandmom found it on a gossip site that posted leaked photos from my sister’s wedding. It could easily be doctored. But when I got home and searched the site for mention of me with a mysterious woman, I didn’t find anything. The people who published the image didn’t know I was in the background. They focused on the newlywedded couple which means the kiss had been real.
I, Derek Lawson, kissed my childhood best friend eighteen months ago, and I can’t remember it to save my life.
I have so many questions; like why Olivia hasn’t mentioned the kiss to me.
There’s a chance she doesn’t remember it, especially after the tequila shots I vaguely remember taking with Adam’s cousin, Phillip. But my gut tells me that’s not why. There’s anotherreason Liv decided not to mention the kiss to me, and I’m afraid I may know what it is…
I might not remember much about Avery’s wedding and the following reception, but I do remember spending most of my time with Liv. The moment I saw her in her bridesmaid’s dress, I couldn’t take my eyes off her. I remember flirting with her—finally lowering down my guard and allowing myself to reveal my feelings for her through my actions. I just don’t remember allowing myself to go so far as to actually kiss her.
The fact I woke up the next morning, naked and alone, tells me I must’ve done something to fuck it up with her sometime after that kiss. That, and the fact she couldn’t look me in the eye when we saw each other the next days confirms as much.
The possibilities of what I might’ve done keep me up for hours after I lie down to go to sleep. That’s the only reason I hear my phone vibrate on the nightstand beside my head. Normally, I’d sleep right through the sound.
I pick up the device and sit up straight when I see who’s calling. I answer, “Liv?”
Loud music blares through the earpiece. I wince and pull the device away before quickly putting it back to my ear.
“Derek… were you asleep?” Olivia slurs. “I didn’t mean to wake you.”
