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A brisk knock on the door interrupts my thoughts. My orthopedic doctor of the last ten years enters the exam room. My stomach drops at the look on his face.
Later, in the parking lot, I sit and stare at nothing.
I’m happy, damn it.
Why must this be happening now?
Scrubbing my hands over my face, I scowl down at the faint wetness on my palms.
The buzzing of my phone breaks through my misery and I manage a lopsided smile at seeing Blaire’s name on the screen.
“Hi, Blaire.”
“Hey, boss man,” Blaire says. The warm, teasing note in her voice has my very soul aching.
“Blaire,” I breathe softly, savoring the name of the woman I adore with every fiber of my being.
“You didn't show, so I wanted to make sure I didn't leave you bedbound.” She laughs. “If you are stuck in bed, I’d be happy to come over and help get you off…oops, I meant out.”
Blaire is like a spring wind, playful, warm, and so welcome as she chases away the unforgiving chill that’s descending upon me. She breathes new life into me and the thought of what I’m going to do when she leaves me is absolutely crushing.
A panicky flutter fills my chest and I reach up my free hand to massage the ache in my sternum.
My voice is low and husky, the words difficult to push out. “I had an appointment today. It should have been marked on the calendar that I’d be out.”
She laughs. “Oh I know. I'm just teasing.”
I can’t speak. My tongue is frozen to the roof of my mouth as the unfairness of it all paralyzes me. I found the woman I can see myself spending forever with just as my life falls apart.
“Did you want to get together tonight?”
Before I can answer, she rushes on. “I can't cook worth crap. In fact, I'll probably get us takeout.”
“I'd love that.”
And I will. I’m going to make the best out of every single moment I get with her and savor this all before it ends.
Later, tucked up on Blaire’s couch together, eating crispy egg rolls and tangy lo mein noodles, she asks me what my appointment was for.
“Oh, just a routine check-up. Nothing to worry about.” The lie turns the food into a hard lump in my stomach.
I should tell her. I know I should. But hell, I’m still processing the news.
It's an excuse, and I realize that.
I’m being utterly selfish, but I want this time with Blaire untainted by pity.
Thus far she’s accepted me as I am, limitations and all. But what will happen when things go from bad to worse?
CHAPTER NINE
BLAIRE
Things are busy at work as we get ready for the upcoming breakfast brunch and charity golf tournament this weekend. Vanna and I are rushing around putting the finishing touches on all the details, and last-minute problems keep popping up.
Like they always do.
Even when it’s for a good cause, people’s egos need to be stroked and catered to. It’s ridiculous, but we’ve both grown up in this atmosphere, so we’re used to it.
