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I looked up from my phone, focusing on his side profile instead. I’d been on Pinterest, making a board for a new project I’d gotten into my head. “For the semester? No.” Not really. That wasn’t the thing I was worried about.
We’d spent the last month in a bubble, where it was just him and me, and nothing else mattered. We were in a good place. But now, we’d be back on campus, with classes and organizations to run. Why did it feel like we’d be desperately clinging to each other despite not having enough time to actuallybetogether?
That was what had my stomach in knots. That this thing—this good thing—could be over before it ever really began.
He squeezed my knee. “Talk to me, baby.”
“It’s nothing.” I turned to look out the window, letting the thoughts swirl around in my head. “I just…”
How did I verbalize my greatest fears out loud? That I’d get attached, and just when I’d let myself love him, he’d leave? Because I knew how easy it would be to love him. How close I was to the feeling, already.
Maybe that was crazy. Maybe all of this was.
But it still didn’t make me fear it any less.
He hummed in response, changing the subject. “I’m thinking pizza for dinner. What do you want?”
“Yeah. Pizza’s good.”
He kissed my knuckles. “Okay.”
Luckily, Cam didn’t say anything else—maybe he recognized I needed space. Whatever the reason, I was grateful, turning up the volume on the music, words from the Christmas song immediately flooding the car.
When we pulled up to the fraternity house, I swallowed roughly. “Are you sure about this?”
“What?” He frowned. “You staying with me for a few days? No one else is back yet. It’ll be fine.”
“No.” I shook my head. Forced out the word. “Us.”
“Am I sure about us?” He snorted. “Baby, I’ve never beenmore sure.” He leaned over, kissing my cheek. “Do you think I would have chased you for the last two months if I wasn’t sure about you? That I like you? That I wantyou?”
I bit my lip. “No.” It wasn’t that, anyway. It was… everything else. “Everything just felt so much easier when it was just us. When we were just Ella and Cam. Not presidents, or anything else, just… us.” Winter break seemed like a dream now. Sure, our friends were there, but we’d been in a bubble. Suddenly, it felt like that was bursting. My eyes filled with tears.
“Come ‘ere,” he said, opening his arms and pulling me onto his lap. “We’re gonna be okay, baby. And no matter what, it’s always going to be us.”
“Promise?”
His lips brushed my forehead. “Promise.”
That was all I needed.
I’d spent the last few days before everyone moved back in at the frat house, sleeping in Cam’s bed and debating how many shirts I could steal without him noticing.
How were they so damn soft? I scowled, just thinking about it as I stood in the sorority kitchen, making breakfast. I’d slept in my bed last night, and it had been a stark contrast to how warm and cozy it was to curl up in bed with him.
“Damn Charming,” I muttered to myself. Damn him for making it so hard to sleep without him. It wasn’t like we could easily spend the night together now that the semester had started—I could get in major trouble if he was caught in my room after curfew, especially since I was supposed to set the example—and I was pretty sure my sorority sisters would notice if I started spending every night in someone else’s bed.
I was so absorbed in that thought that I didn’t even notice my house mom coming downstairs.
“Happy first day of classes,” Ilene said, catching me before I headed out the door.
I paused. “Thanks,” I murmured, giving her a small smile as I shoved a bite of bagel into my mouth.
“How’s everything been? We haven’t talked much lately.”
“Good.”
She drummed her fingers on the table.
