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He concedes without argument. Damn, hemustbe drunk. “You’re right. I fucked up. A lot. And Mikey found out and, well, you know how he was. You were like family to him. I thought I was, too, but he turned his back on me and slipped that weird fucking poison into my coffee.”
“Dad. That’s crazy. You’re trying to tell me?—”
Dad suddenly smiles at me. Like, genuinely smiles. It’s fucking creepy. “You saved my life, Clar-bear. I didn’t know it, not at the time. But when that coroner’s report came through and I saw that fairytale bullshit was what did him in, Iknew.”
“How do you know? It could have been me. I could have been the one who poisoned him.”
He laughs. Again, it’s genuine. And again, it’s unsettling because of how genuine it is. “An eight-year-old committing murder by poison? I have seen some twisted shit in my career. But you, honey? Please.”
“I could’ve. I had the book.”
“That damn book.” He scoffs and shakes his head. “It was his first, did you know that? Got it at one of those school bookfairs when we did one of those anti-drug assemblies. He’d read it while on patrol. He was always into plant shit. I used to tease him about starting his own greenhouse and makingrealgood money, if you know what I mean.”
I slowly settle onto the far end of the loveseat, right on the edge of the armrest. The more Dad feels comfortable sharing with me, the more he’ll open up. He’s not even looking at me, just staring off into space and reminiscing.
“Ah, Mikey.” Dad rubs a hand over his jaw. “I miss him. Really, I do. He was a nosy motherfucker, but he had twice as many brains as that dumbass Martin. And sad thing is, that’s what did him in.”
I keep my voice soft and gentle, like I’m on his side. “What do you mean?”
Dad looks at me. “I let him give you that book because it was fun, harmless shit, and he loved you like you really were his niece. I never let you garden, of course. Too much of a mess, too expensive, and I didn’t want shit growing all over my lawn. But you begged, and pleaded, and begged some more. So Mike started his own little garden for whenever you visited him. Don’t you remember?”
No, I don’t—well, vaguely. It’s not like I went over to Uncle Mike’s on a regular basis. But as I try to remember anything Dad’s talking about, I do have very faint images in my mind of going over for dinner. Mom carrying a casserole dish, Dad stubbing out a cigarette on the driveway.
And Uncle Mike swinging me into his arms and showing me his new hanging planter.
“I found that wolf shit growing in his windowsill. After the autopsy, I mean. I knew you obviously didn’t have anything to do with it and your mother had been visiting her friend all day. So I had to ask myself,How did the poison get there?”
I close my eyes and swallow back a small lump growing in my throat.Poor Uncle Mike. “He grew the poison for you.”
Dad nods. “That’s what I figured. Or he just liked how it looked and got the idea later on. Meant to kill me, make it look like a heart attack. But the mugs got switched and he either forgot which one or didn’t notice. Fuck if I know.”
My head is reeling with all this… this… I can’t call it “bullshit” because there does exist the weirdest possibility that Dad is actually telling the truth. That Uncle Mike fell victim to his own murder plot.
“So why cover it up? You didn’t kill him.”
“Didn’t I?” Dad laughs again. “Fuck, that’s the irony of it. Who would believe Michael Little ‘accidentally’ drank his own poison? The minute I saw that report, I knew the spotlight would turn on me. It didn’t matter if I killed him or not, Internal Affairs would start combing through my shit and my personal life.”
I lean my head back against the wall. “And they’d find out you were on the take. And abusing your family.”
He shoots me a guilty glare. “Don’t say that word, honey. I love you. And I loved your mother.”
“Right.”
“The fact that Tolya Zakrevsky happened to show up out of nowhere? It was like the universe just wanted me to get away without breaking a sweat.”
I stiffen. There’s a nasty, greedy gleam in Dad’s eyes. “What do you have against the Zakrevskys? Youknewhe was innocent and you threw him under the bus anyway.”
“It’s all about control, sweetheart. You need to learn this. I’ve been trying to teach you your whole life. You have to keep things under control at all times. The old man, Oleg—he knew how to play by the rules. But Tolya? He was a wild card. He was out of control.”
“So you made sure he stayed out of the picture.” My stomach turns. I feel sick.
“It wasn’t part of the original plan, but yes. Everything worked out beautifully. Mikey’s report was never filed, he killed himself, and stupid fucking Tolya just happened to show up at that warehouse andfuck, if I didn’t panic for a hot second?—”
“Wait.” I’m officially going to throw up. “You were there?”
Dad smiles at me like I’m the sweetest, stupidest thing on the planet. “Oh, honey. Of course I was. I had to make sure everything went smoothly.”
I’m glad I’m sitting on the armrest. I might drop to the floor if I wasn’t.
