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And then we’re driving down the desert road, turning onto the main highway, and heading into the city limits.
Like it’s normal.
Like we’re afamily.
Demyen turns on the radio. It’s a song that apparently both he and Willow know. She sings it loud, and he does his best to hide his face from me, but I don’t miss him humming a note or two under his breath.
I stare at him like he’s possessed. Because he is. He has to be. That’s the only logical explanation.
“Oh, no…!” Willow whines suddenly from the backseat. “I forgot to brush my teeth.”
Wordlessly, Demyen pops the central console compartment open and holds up a pack of dental gum. “But wait until after we eat. Mint and orange juice do not go well together.”
“Okay!”
He glances at me, then does a double-take. “What?”
I wish I had a good response. Something cohesive to say. Other than, “Who are you? And where’s Demyen?”
He smirks. “You’d think you’d be way happier this morning. It’s a beautiful day, it’s Willow’s first day of kindergarten, and… well, you know…”
“I’m very happy!” I realize that folding my arms and huffing in protest doesn’t exactly prove my point. “I just… you’re acting weird.”
“I’m acting like a man who got laid.”
“What’s ‘laid’?” Willow’s small voice asks innocently.
Demyen’s eyes widen.Serves him right. I should be pissed, but honestly, I’m way more entertained by his panic and backpedaling. “It’s, ah… you know how you feel so much better after a nice, long nap?”
“Yeah?”
“It’s that. You lie down, you take a nap. And then you feel very, very happy and relaxed. Like you can conquer the world.”
“‘Kay.” She thinks for a moment, stroking the rainbow mane of the unicorn stitched onto her backpack. “Do you think they’ll have me get laid at school?”
I facepalm hard enough to hear the smack of my hand against my forehead. But damn it, I can’t stop laughing. “Um, sweetheart? Let’s just call it ‘taking a nap’.” I press my lips together to hold back the laughter and try my best to shoot Demyen a pointed look. “That means you, too.”
“Right.” Demyen clears his throat and shifts in his seat. “I just took a very good nap. A very, very thorough?—”
“Where do we want to get the donuts?” I cut him off before he digs us another parenting hole. The last thing either of us needs is a letter home from the teacher about Willow’s “expanded vocabulary.”
“Can we go to Cake Castle?” she asks.
“Oh, honey, that’s?—”
“A perfect idea.” It’s Demyen’s turn to give me a look that says,Chill.“Let me guess. Unicorn donut?”
“With rainbow sprinkles.”
“Well, of course. What kind of unicorn donut doesn’t have rainbow sprinkles?”
“Mommy eats plain donuts.” She makes it sound like I commit war crimes. “No frosting or anything.”
That little snitch!
Demyen smirks. “I’m pretty sure she loves the ones with cream filling.”
That big asshole!
