Page 24 of Rhapsody of Pain


Font Size:  

No one comes up to me to talk. No one stares at me awkwardly, or whispers as they walk by to do whatever it is Demyen’s people do. I’m left alone to my own devices, which feels…

Boring.

It feels incredibly, insanely boring.

I don’t know what I was expecting after everything. Not just coming back after The Ordeal. There’s been so much patching over, talking through, and, well… “making up for lost time” with Demyen and Bambi.

Where do I stand? Or sit, as the case may be. Am I a guest? A former employee?

One thing has become increasingly clear: I’m definitely not a prisoner.

I’m soaking in the desert sun, listening to the trickling song of the marble fountain in the pool, lost in my thoughts that drift to daydreams ofWhat Could Be. What kind of life can I have, if I’m able to overcome the damage done to me in Oleg’s home? What kind of woman could I allow myself to be, now that I’m safe and free to actually have a choice?

Why does my heart ache when I start imagining taking Willow and leaving this place?

I don’t hear the doors to the main house open and close. I don’t really notice the scuffling of staff around me. It’s not until I feel something—someone—large and ominous suddenly next to me that I sit up with a gasp.

“Sorry,” Mako says with a hand held up apologetically. “Didn’t mean to startle you.”

“I’m fine.” It’s kind of a lie, but mostly the truth.

“I just wanted to let you know that if anything becomes too much, just give us a signal and we’ll take care of things.”

I furrow my brow. “Um… okay?” My heart picks up the pace, but since he seems calm, I tell myself there’s no impending danger.

Mako nods and moves to the main house. He seems to be silently communicating with someone through the door’s window, because after a few quick nods, he turns the handle.

And is almost immediately flattened by the door when Willow comes barreling through.

“Mommy!”

Oh my God.

I don’t notice leaving the chair. I don’t even register moving at all—I basically teleport halfway across the courtyard to sweep my little girl into my arms and cover her sweet face with kisses.

And cry.

I’m definitely crying.

Scratch that—I’msobbing. So is Willow, which both surprises me and makes me hug her even tighter. Her little arms are a steel band around my neck and I don’t care if I suffocate to death in her embrace. It’s enough to just be here, with her, holding her in my embrace.

I cry because I’m so relieved. To see her, to hold her, to know that she’s been so well-cared for. Even now, as I glance over her shoulder, I can see Mako and Bambi watching from a respectful distance. They both seem relieved and yet cautious.

It wasmehe was talking about—I realize that now. Mako had the presence of mind to assure me that if I couldn’t handle this, if such a reunion was too much too soon, he and Bambi would step in to usher Willow away and give me space.

The thought of them doing that almost makes me growl ferally. I definitely cling to Willow tighter. I know it’s for our best, but she’smybaby girl.Mybaby.

Bambi was right. Willow needs me, her mommy.

And I need her.

I also cry because I’m so, so,sofucking terrified that all of this can vanish at any moment. That I’ll suddenly wake up, pinned beneath that horrible man, and I’ll once again be worlds away from my precious daughter.

I cry because I want this to be real.

I need this to be real.

And then I cry because somehow, I know beyond any doubt that it is.

Source: www.allfreenovel.com