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Love you, too, Tol.
We left the prison ten minutes ago.
Clara hasn’t said a single word.
It’s starting to unnerve me. “You okay?” I ask as gently as possible, even if just to break the silence. “You’re quiet.”
“Just thinking.”
“Is it Willow?” I won’t be surprised if it is Willow occupying her thoughts. Even though we were inside a prison for the better part of an hour, it was still a reprieve from the kid’s melancholy and silent clinging to us—and Pavel.
Not that he minds her being clingy. She’s still silent; she just sits there in his room coloring or flipping through her picture books.
The part that bothers me, and I know bothers Clara, is that the moment she leaves Pavel’s room, she’s back to being listless. Vacant. What little signs of life that still exist in her seem to only come out whenever she’s near the man who literally saved her life.
I’ll be the first to admit—I’m a bit jealous. I’m eternally grateful to him, of course, but… I want to bring that spark of life back into her, too.
Clara sighs and shakes her head. “It’s not Willow.”
More silence.
“Care to share with the class?”
“It’s us. I don’t… I’m not…” Clara sighs with frustration and thumps her head back against the seat. “Are you gonna pull away again? Now that we’ve seen your brother. In prison. Where I accidentally put him.”
Ah.
I deserve that.
Our last visit did not conclude in a way that left a good impression on her memory.
I reach over the console and take her hand in mine, then bring it to my lips to kiss. “No, baby. I’m not going to pull away again. I’m done doing that shit, believe me.”
A quick glance at her face tells me I’ve said the right thing. She’s smiling, and it’s genuine.
So I take it a step further. “In fact, I’m on strict orders from my big brother to never ever fuck shit up with you again, or he’s gonna kick my ass. Consider me on my best behavior.”
Clara giggles. I fucking love that sound. “I’ll be sure to remind you of that. You know, just in case.”
“If we ever reach a ‘just in case’ situation, you have full permission to kick my ass yourself.” I shoot her a mischievous little grin. “If you can.”
“Oh, I can. Among other things.” Her hips do a little wiggle in her seat andfuckif I’m not hard all over again.
“Stop that,” I warn her. “Stop that shit right now.
Her lips pucker in a playful little pout. “Aww, did I get you all hot and bothered doingthis?” She does it again, grinning seductively.
Fuck. I’m starting to break into a sweat and she hasn’t even touched me. Not beyond holding my hand, which she actually stops doing now that we’re in a full-blown conversation. “You got me distracted. I’m driving. Focus is key.”
“Mhm. But yours is unbreakable, right? I mean, being a big, badpakhanand all, you’d have to be pretty good at keeping your eye on the prize, I’m sure.”
I glance at her. She’s smirking. Giggling, even. “Precisely. I am literally trained to not let any distractions—blyat’,what are you doing?”
Her hand is in my lap.
Rubbing.
“Go on,” Clara says without missing a beat. She bats her long lashes at me innocently. “You were saying…? You have impeccable focus?”
