Page 81 of Ruined


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My heart breaks for him, but I don’t say anything. Not that I’m sorry that it happened to him or that he deserved better. Because right now, he doesn’t deserve sympathy from me. Not at all.

“Kammes told me you used me to get to him,” We says. “It… brought back a lot of old feelings that I thought I’d buried.”

“I didn’t even know he was your stepdad until today.”

“Yeah,” he says quietly. “I figured that out by the look on your face when I walked into his office.”

We lay there in silence for a few minutes. Eventually, I turn my head to look at him. All I can see is his side profile—his sharp cheekbone and defined jawline, his long eyelashes, and the freckles dotting his pale skin.

“Have the past three years really only been because of that one incident? Because you thought I used you to get to him?”

It feels like there’s more. There has to be.

“I couldn’t let you go,” he whispers. “You were everywhere. Even if I managed to avoid you on campus, every time I looked at Kammes, I thought of you. And that night in the hot tub… It fucking changed me. Not a day has gone by that I haven’t thought about it.”

“And it made you angry?”

He lets out a soft, amused breath. “You haunted me, Athelia. I couldn’t even escape you in my dreams. So no, I wasn’t angry. I wastormented.You didn’t deserve what we did to you. But…”

My body goes stiff. “But what?”

“But I can’t change the past,” he murmurs, rolling onto his side and softly stroking his knuckles across my jaw. “And I can’t change what I want to do to you.”

“What about what I want?” I whisper.

“Whatever you want, we’ll give you.”

“And if I don’t want you?”

Wes shakes his head. “There’s no version of your life where you don’t end up with me. With us. You’re mine, Athelia.My soul.I can’t let you go.”

I’m silent as I stare at the snake tattoo that winds around his neck, as if it’s just sitting there and resting on his shoulders. I can’t see most of it, just what’s visible above his black T-shirt, but it doesn’t make the urge to trace my fingers over it any smaller.

“Whatdoyou want?” he asks.

“I don’t know,” I whisper. Then I roll my eyes. “I want the versions of the three of you that I created in my heads. The ones who loved me and were soft and gentle and protective. Not the assholes you are in real life.”

I’m not sure why I’m being so honest with Wes, other than I hope my words sting. He should know that I much prefer a fictionalized version of him over the real thing. Unfortunately, it doesn’t seem to work, because the dick smiles.

“Is that really what you want? Soft and gentle?”

“You actually think that’snotwhat I want?”

“I know how wet you got last night, and we were the exact opposite of soft and gentle. Not to mention how hard you came while I was fucking that perfect throat of yours.”

My fingers close into fists. “Fuck you, Wesley Carver.”

“You will,” he says smoothly. His lips feather over my neck. “And when the time comes, I’ll make you beg for my cock.”

I blow out a frustrated breath before pushing him away. “You’re not getting it. What I want in bed isn’t what I want all the time. I have feelings, you know.”

For a moment, he looks like he’s going to make another joke, but he doesn’t. His fingers tangle in my hair as he leans over me, carefulnot to put any weight on me. With his forehead against mine, he finally speaks.

“I told you I’ll give you anything, Athelia. You want soft and gentle? Done. You want someone who’ll drop whatever they’re doing for you, no matter what? I’ll be that person. You want me to follow you around and wait on you, hand and foot? I will. You’re mine, Athelia, but I’m also yours.”

“Wes—”

“You have me, okay? Every piece of me. I know I hurt you, and I understand if you hate me. But I can’t let you go. Trust me, I tried. Every time I tried to forget about you, I found myself stumbling back to you in one way or another.”

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