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“Please say something,” Chase urged.
I knew he could read the whirlwind of emotions I was experiencing as they flashed across my face.
“I don’t know what to say. I’m not who you think I am. I’m not a good person,” I cried.
Placing a hand under my chin, Chase forced me to look up at him. “Don’t you dare say that, Lizzie. You may not be the person you say you are by name, but I know one thing for damn sure; you’re not a bad person,” Chase said, as he stared deep into my eyes.
“Chase,” I opened my mouth to argue, but he cut me off.
Shaking his head, Chase placed a finger up to my lips. “Lizzie, don’t try to argue this. I know you feel what’s happening between us. I can see in your eyes you want me, too. It was magnetic the way we just seemed to be connected when we first met. There’s nothing you could say to change my mind about this. I’m sorry I tried to search your name behind your back. I shouldn’t have done that, but I had to know more about you. But I’m here now. I want to know everything there is about you,” Chase said, as he watched me carefully. “Nothing you tell me will change how I feel about you. Nothing.”
This was it. My chance to send him running or see if Avery was right. So, I pushed caution to the wind and just said the hell with everything.
“Chase, I do feel it, too. I care about you. I want you in my life, but there’s something I have to tell you. And, when I do, I’m afraid you won’t feel the same way about me,” I quipped, as I felt my legs tremble. I was afraid if I did tell him my secret, then he wouldn't look at me with the same care and desire he did now. Chase had revealed a part of his life that was difficult to share. If I wanted to have any chance of feeling… well, anything ever again, then I had to take the plunge and tell him.
“Tell me everything and let me decide,” Chase argued.
Taking a deep breath, I began, “This is difficult for me to share, Chase. What I’m about to tell you isn’t only hurtful but embarrassing, too. Growing up, my parents hated me. I had atwin brother who died during birth, and my parents told me from the moment I was born, I was the twin who should have died. They hated me and made me feel terrible about surviving. They never cared for me or even told me they loved me. I’ve lived my life pretending to be someone else and never knowing what it feels like to be truly cared for. Sure, I had boyfriends in school, but I never let any of them get close enough to me to see what an awful family I have or how truly messed up I am because of them. I’ve blocked everyone from loving me because the rejection that comes when someone stops caring for you is just too devastating to experience again. My friend Avery, well, she’s the only person who has ever loved me.”
I stopped talking and brushed a tear away from my eyes. I hated that I was getting emotional. Sensing my pain, Chase encouraged me to continue. “Lizzie, keep talking. You need to tell me this.”
“I had always wanted to go to a design school, but my parents would never let me apply. They thought it was a stupid dream that would just bring more embarrassment to our family. So, they tried to enroll me in a local business school back home in Kentucky. I didn’t want to go, but I was so desperate for their approval, I agreed. Then, after my high school graduation, my parents had a big cookout. I had just turned eighteen, and they didn’t even celebrate my birthday,” I said, as I shook my head with anger. “Anyway, they had lit a million candles, and I guess everyone was so drunk, they didn’t think to put out the fire before they went to bed. I awoke that night engulfed in smoke. I managed to escape through my bedroom window. When I found the strength to stand and walk around to the front of the house, my parents were outside safe. Only, they never thought to check on me. Everyone around the house, including my parents, assumed I was dead. They didn’t even send anyone in to get me! I don’t know why I was shocked,” I admitted, as I shook myhead and closed my eyes to fight back the angry tears stinging my eyes. Slowly re-opening my eyes, I sighed before continuing. This was the difficult part to share. “My parents weren’t just controlling; they were plain evil. When I was a little kid, they would lock me in my closet and tell me if I opened the door to leave the space, a monster would kill me. They would do this anytime they wanted to leave the house, or had friends over, or just didn’t want me around.”
I shuddered as I remembered the fear I felt as a young girl, wishing for someone, anyone, to save me. But no one ever did. Flashbacks to those dark days and nights caused my heart to flutter as I tried to remind myself I wasn’t a little girl anymore. I was safe now. “My mom used to beat me with a belt if I cried or didn’t do exactly as she told me to do. I learned over the years to just shut my mouth and allow them to control my life. Feeling invisible was far better than being locked away or beaten. So, when I realized everyone thought I was dead inside the house, I took that opportunity and ran to Avery’s house. We made a plan to leave and never look back. Now, Avery has a great family, and they think she’s just traveling the world and taking online classes. I’ve been working small jobs, saving enough money to come here to design school.”
I finished talking as my story quickly approached the present day. I waited patiently for Chase to tell me that he had to leave or that he didn’t feel the same way anymore. Instead, he did the opposite.
“Fuck them all,” Chase growled out, as his eyes were ablaze with intense anger. “I want you to tell me where your parents are. I’ll instill the same fear and pain in them, they inflicted on you,” Chase said, as he paced around me.
It was like he was about to just start walking until he found the evil demons who had birthed me.
“Chase, it’s not worth it. I want to forget that life and start over. Please, I’m begging you. Just forget about them.”
Chase looked at me with wide eyes for what seemed like an eternity. After a while, his shoulders sank, and the red fire in his eyes faded away.
Drawing me into him, Chase placed his strong arms around me and hugged me tightly to him. Without thinking, I wrapped my arms around his waist and allowed myself to fall into his rock-hard chest. The tears poured as I felt a release. For the first time ever, I felt like I had someone who cared about me. Well, someone other than Avery.
Chase held onto me for what seemed like an eternity. His hold kept getting stronger, and he just exhaled evenly into my hair. Finally, he broke our embrace. “Lizzie, I don’t have words to express how sorry I am that you had to go through that. Your parents are terrible people, and you never have to see them again. You can be yourself here with me. I swear to you in my life, no one will ever hurt you again. Do you believe me?”
Standing firm under his touch, I felt so strong and confident. Both were emotions I wasn’t used to experiencing. “You don’t understand though. Everyone thinks I’m dead. If I let people know I’m alive, my parents will find out too.”
“Is that what you’re afraid of?” Chase laughed.
My eyes grew wide as I was a little offended by his humor. “This isn’t funny,” I seethed.
“I’m not laughing because I think this is funny. I’m laughing because this is absurd. Lizzie, you’re an adult. Who cares if your family finds out? You have a life here now. You have a job. You’re in school. You have me. Besides, you’re across the country, and the only person you know with ties to them is Avery and from what you’ve told me, she isn’t going to tell them. You’re safe here.”
Safe. A word I wasn’t used to, but I was starting to think it could be a possibility for me.
“Chase, my life is very complicated.”
Shrugging his shoulders, Chase sighed. “Baby, everything is complicated. My life is fucked up, too. My parents don’t care about me either, and I prefer it that way. They’re assholes. You and I don’t need them. We only need each other. We’re so similar, it’s almost scary. For most of my life, I’ve only allowed a few people to get close to me. My former training partner from my years in MMA, Jax, came to Vegas with me. He works security at the casino with me, and he’s the only person I’ve trusted in years. We had both made a lot of money fighting, but when our careers ended, we needed something dangerous to fulfill us. Working security just made sense. I deal with drunks, millionaires fighting over losing all their money, criminals, and mobsters, and that’s just a few examples. The money and the danger just don’t satisfy me the way it used to. I haven't been happy in a long time. Instead, I’ve been just living day to day, waiting for someone to come into my life to show me what happiness looks like. Then, I saw you. I swear, the first time I saw you walking through the casino was the first time I felt my heartbeat. I wanted you so bad, but at the same time, I was angry that someone so innocent and beautiful could be in a place like a Vegas casino. Since my parents spent more time drinking than raising me, we never had any money or nice things. Seeing you makes me want to do better. I want something that’s mine, and I can be assured will never leave. Money can disappear, and material things can be taken away. But what I’m feeling for you is real and something I hope and pray will stay forever. Now that I know your truth, I understand why you pushed me away and why you felt like you had to leave the way you did.”
Pausing, Chase made sure to look deep into my eyes. “I wouldn't want you anywhere else. We need each other. Let meshow you what it’s like to feel alive again,” Chase raged, as his tone became dark and heavy.
I couldn’t fight him any longer. My body was giving in to his every want and desire.
“Okay,” I said, my voice barely above a whisper.
