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“Because there’s a few things I need to look at on my computer,” I said. “And it would be easier for me to look at them while we’re here instead of taking it all back to your house.”
“Do you have toys?” Lucy asked.
I sighed. Of course, I didn’t. But I hoped I could still convince her to sit quietly for a short while so I could get some of my work done on the computer. I hadn’t planned on taking care of her alone all day, so I had thought I could put off some of yesterday’s work.
Now, I wished for some help so I could get a few things done. But since I didn’t have any, I was going to have to make do.
“No,” I said. “But I’ll tell you a secret.”
“What?” Lucy asked with wide eyes.
“I have the most comfortable chair in the world. I’ll let you sit in it to watch your shows if you want,” I said, hoping to sell her on the idea.
“Okay!” she said. “Wow.”
It wasn’t the first time I had brought her to my house, but it was the first time she was going to be there for any stretch while I tried to get some things done. I walked her into the living room,set up her cartoons on the TV, and then beamed as I had her sit in my chair.
“Now, let me know if you need anything,” I said. “I’m going to get a few things done on my computer while you watch your shows, okay?”
“Okay,” she said.
I headed into the spare bedroom I used for an office and sat down with a sigh. Part of me wondered if this is what single motherhood would be like if Alex wasn’t happy about the baby. The thought scared me, and I looked at my phone. I felt bad about the night before, and since he hadn’t messaged me, I figured he must still be pissed.
So, I called him. I might as well apologize and get it behind us.
Alex answered, but his tone was gruff right from the beginning.
“Hello?” he said.
“Good morning to you, too,” I replied.
“What do you need?” he asked. “Is Lucy alright?”
“She’s fine,” I said. “I was just calling to talk to you about earlier.”
“Now’s about the worst time for that,” he said. “I’m in the middle of something. Can’t it wait?”
“Again?” I asked. “You’re always asking me to wait.”
“You’re always asking for my attention,” he shot back. “There are times you’re going to have to give me a minute so I can get something else done.”
I had a scathing reply, but instead, I simply hung up. I wasn’t in the mood to deal with his attitude, and though I was angry, his words still stung. This wasn’t at all what I had envisioned when I had thought about dating him, and the fear that he wasn’t the man I had thought he was started to creep into the back of my mind.
He didn’t know I was pregnant. Not yet. It wasn’t too late to keep the entire thing to myself and run. I had always been strong and independent. I didn’t need him or his money. I could do this on my own.
Tears welled up in my eyes at the thought, and I was glad Lucy was in the other room, so she wasn’t able to see how upset I was.
My life was crumbling around me. I could feel it. And to make matters worse, I had no idea how to stop it.
I felt lost.
And this time, I didn’t see any way out.
Chapter Thirty
Alex
Ilooked at my phone, checking the time. It was three in the afternoon, and I was tired and frustrated.
