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A tightness formed in her chest.How dare he?“They meant enough for you to sleep with, or was that just sex for you? And if it was just sex, how do I know that this won’t turn into the samething? That one day you won’t get bored with me and go back to how you were before we met?”
“You really think it’s possible for you to mean nothing to me? God, I thought I explained how much I care about you.”
She leaned on the chair in front of her. Her gut was heavy, and her feelings were all over the place. Could she trust his words? Was it fair to Skylar to let him get close to her, only for him to just wake up one morning and decide they no longer meant anything to him, and he no longer wanted to be tied down? Her heart was raging against her chest, and her breathing became fast.
She needed to calm down before she said something she would regret. He didn’t understand what it was like growing up thinking your father didn’t want you. He had an amazing father and mother who loved each other. Leila understood what it was like with a single mom, and it was bad enough Skylar would have to know her father didn’t want her. It was Leila’s duty to protect her daughter. Her body and her heart. This was why she didn’t want to get involved in a relationship.Leila, why were you so stupid? Why did you let this happen? Is this man really the kind of man you want to raise your daughter?
No. He wasn’t, and she needed to end it now. It would be hard, but tonight was what she’d needed to open her eyes to what he was really like deep down in his soul. “Adler, I knew I wasn’t ready for a relationship.” She struggled to hold back the emotion forcing its way to the surface. “You, though, are nothing but a bad decision, and I’m sure once the reality hits that this is a forever commitment, you’ll be running for the hills. You aren’t ready for the commitment of being a family man, and even if you thought you were, you sure aren’t father material, and not someone I’d ever consider for being the father of my daughter.”
His eyes widened, and he backed away from her.
What did she just do? Leila took a step forward as her heart crashed in her chest. She grabbed his arms. “Adler, I didn’t mean that. I’m so sorry.” She was pleading and sounded desperate, but she didn’t care.
He bit his bottom lip as he nodded. “Yeah, you did. You said it.” He jerked away from her grasp like her touch burned him, and he cleared his throat.
Leila’s heart pounded.
“I’m sorry too, Leila. I thought you saw me, the me I desperately want to be, but I guess I was wrong. I won’t waste your time anymore since I’m not someone you’d see as a father figure.” His voice was thick, and he stomped to the door and closed it softly behind him.
Leila stared at the door like if she watched it long enough it would magically open and Adler would reappear, but he left. He really just walked out.
What did she do? Her shoulders slumped forward, and she leaned on the door as tears ran down her face. Maybe he was still outside. Maybe he hadn’t left after all. Maybe she could stop him and beg him to come back.
She yanked the door open, ready to yell for him, but she heard an engine come to life and then speed away. Her heart stopped, then tore in two as she stood in the dark. “Leila, you really screwed things up.”
Chapter 24
Adler opened the convertible top and sped away, trying to leave behind the hurt and dread eating away at his insides. Speed was what he needed and the wind blowing his hair helped to keep him focused. As he flew down the road toward the interstate, he compelled speed to take over his thoughts. The wind whipped through his hair, waking him from the shock Leila’s words caused.
She’d never consider him being Skylar’s dad. What bothered him the most was that he hadn’t thought of being her dad until those words were spoken. It was like a sword through his heart. That little girl meant so much to him. He loved her as much as he loved Leila.
Shit.He smacked his hand against the steering wheel. He didn’t need to think that. He had never loved anyone before. Tears stung his eyes. He blinked hard and pressed the gas pedal down. Picking up speed, he hoped the wind would blow away the burning hurt growing in his chest.
He turned off the road and finally came to a stop. He wasn’t at home. He was at the overlook, and thankfully there was no one else there. He pulled the Mustang carefully up the uneven gravel road, got out of the car, and sat on the log where just a couple weeks ago he’d sat with Leila. How did things go so wrong? He rested his elbows on his thighs and hung his head low. The tears that had stung his eyes while he was driving slid slowly down his cheeks. He let them fall and dry in the air. He sat there for a while, watching the lights become brighter as the moonless night closed in around him.
Leila’s words churned in his head like an ice cream machine. She’d said he wasn’t ready for the commitment of being a father.
She’d said he was a bad decision.
Anger rose in his chest as her words swam through his mind. “Fuck!” he yelled at the top of his lungs. That single word echoed off the nothingness of the overlook. He had never hurt like this before. His chest ached as if it were being split in two. He needed to get control of himself before he got back in his car and headed home, because he couldn’t stay here much longer. He had work in the morning.
Eventually, he was calm enough. It was only nine o’clock, though it seemed like a year had passed since he left Leila. When he reached the gate of his driveway, he punched in his code—his birthdate—and wound his way up the driveway. As he approached his parents’ house, they were getting out of the car. He remembered it was Wednesday, the night they went out with friends after their church service.
He couldn’t explain why, but he parked next to their car. When his mom turned, his heart finally split. He was thirty. Why did he need his mother right now? That made no sense. He was a grown man.
He got out of his car and walked to her with long strides.
“Hey, Ad.” Her smile was wide, but once he was close, she could see the expression on his face. “What’s wrong?”
He wiped roughly at the tears he didn’t realize were falling and wrapped his mother in a tight hug. She was the one woman who, no matter how many times he screwed up or how many bad decisions he made, would always love him. She wrapped her arms around his chest. He squeezed her tight as his heart slowed down to a more even rhythm.
“Adler, what happened?” She pulled away from him and cupped his face like she used to when he was little, but this time she needed to angle his face down to her.
“I was with Leila. I’m crazy about her, Mom, and I thought we had something, but she said I was bad decision and wasn’t someone she wanted to be Skylar’s father.”
Elisha’s eyes popped. “Wow. Okay. Let’s go in the house and talk about what happened.”
Adler took a deep breath, held it for a beat before exhaling. Good. His emotions were finally under control. It was amazing that even at his age, a hug from his mom made everything okay. He shook his head. “No, Mom. I’m good now.” He gave her a small smile.
