Page 62 of Willow

Dr. Cooper and Casey. Casey and Dr. Cooper.

I sat in silence as the conversation shifted to more neutral territory again, but I didn’t contribute much. Then, I left a few minutes later.

I went back to our patient pod. I finished dictating my charts for the day. I sat at my desk and stared out the window while not really seeing anything.

I heard footsteps as they approached from behind and I turned to look. Dr. Cooper was coming down the hallway. He was laughing at something someone had just said. He looked happy.

I stared at him for a few moments, wondering who he was or if I’d ever really known him at all. I felt stupid and foolish. He had pulled me into his tangled web, and I went willingly. With a single stare and some illicit words, a seed was planted inside my head. I stewed on that seed. I watered and nurtured it until it had a life of its own. And all that time, he had already been having an affair with one of my coworkers.

The truth of all his lies hit me like a Mack truck.

He stopped when he noticed the look on my face. His smile dimmed, and his expression turned to concern.

“What?” he asked, his thick brows pulled together.

“You,” I said, my voice low, though there was no one else around. “You and Casey.”

He stared with a blank look before his mask fell. Then, I could see it clearly for the first time. The guilt, the remorse. The turmoil living just beneath the surface of his skin. And I knew it in that moment … it was true.

He admitted to having an affair with Casey. It seemed like a relief for him to tell me. Like it was a weight lifted off his shoulders. But I felt like he shifted that weight directly onto me. I left the office a hundred pounds heavier than I had been when I arrived that morning.

I experienced a quagmire of emotions the days after that revelation. I felt betrayal and jealousy. I felt deceived. I was left in a million pieces of conflicting emotions. I was angry with him. I didn’t understand why he would try to pull me into his sphere when he already had a woman on the side. I learned more details along the way. Apparently, they had been seeing each other for the past few years. Over half the time I was working for him.Withhim. I wondered how Casey would feel if she knew he’d propositioned me a few months ago. That if I had said yes at the time, he would’ve been in my bed too.

As high as it had felt to have his attention on me, I was equally diminished when I found out the truth. I wasn’t special at all. I was just … there. When I thought about how close I had been to destroying my life and my integrity … when I considered how much he had messed with my head along the way … my ire continued to grow until it consumed me.

I felt myself disappear completely, like that curl of smoke off a cigarette that dissolved in the air. I had been chasing this high for so long. But the entire time, I was pursuing a lie. And I was fading into someone I didn’t recognize. I’d almost ruined myself for a man who didn’t really care about me. He was searching for an escape. I had been that escape.

But it struck me like a bullet when I realized it had little to do with me.

I’d bought into the facade, wanting to believe I was so amazing, so magnetic, that he couldn’t resist upending his life to have me. There was something addictive about that thought. It made it exciting and enticing. It made me feel ten feet tall. But he hadn’t chased me because I was so unique and irresistible. He’d chased me because I was within reach every day.

I felt shattered. The more I spun it inside my head, the less I understood it. I didn’t know who I was when I looked in the mirror anymore. I had become a foolish mess. I was too close to it all to see what it really was. Whathewas. I thanked God that I hadn’t ever crossed that final line in the sand. The one that had been staring me in the face for weeks. But somehow, it didn’t matter. Because I had considered it. And the fact that I’d even contemplated an affair with my boss somehow broke me anyway.

My temper was palpable in the weeks that followed. Smart-ass remarks became my normal responses. I called Dr. Cooper out on his shady behavior more than once. I wanted to make him feel as small as he had made me feel. I was like an animal backed into a corner, stuck in kill-or-be-killed mode.

His wife found out about the affair he had been having with Casey. The city was small when it came to things like that. I guessed you couldn’t hide indiscretions forever. As the rumors swirled, the truth came into the light.

Dr. Cooper stopped confiding in me. The dinners and lunches basically ended. He was on guard around me, and I was slinging arrows every chance I got. I’d have to agree with the saying,Hell hath no fury like a woman scorned.

With the knowledge I’d gained, everything in my life had shifted. Dr. Cooper was knocked off the pedestal I had put him on—or maybe he had put himself on it. Work became something I tolerated rather than something I looked forward to. I became defiant. Spiteful. Unhappy. But I had worked there for so long, I didn’t know how to remove myself from the situation completely. So, we both continued to swim in the toxicity of it all.

Lucky for me, I guessed … he solved the problem for both of us when he decided to replace me.

But it didn’t feel like luck at the time. It felt like another betrayal.

CHAPTER NINETEEN

WILLOW

I hear a ping, indicating a new text, and I leap for my phone where it sits on the countertop across the room. I frown when I see that it’s from Wyatt. I was hoping to hear from Zane.

The morning after our campout, I had felt contentedly happy when my eyes opened with the first morning light in the tent. My body felt deliciously sore after tangoing with Zane’s the night before. But he seemed … off from the minute he awakened. He insisted he was fine every time I asked. But something was different. He was quiet. Distant. In the end, I chalked it up to him not being a big morning person, though I wasn’t entirely convinced that was what it was.

We made breakfast over an open fire. The morning was cold, and the fog was thick, hiding the mountains from view. We ate the food and packed up at the campsite. We hiked back to the 4Runner. The descent was much easier than the climb to get there. Quicker. Zane drove me home, dropping me off less than an hour later.

That was two days ago. I’ve heard little from him since. I texted him a couple of times, only to receive short, concise responses.

He’s just busy with work. I’ve kept him from his responsibilities for days now.

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