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I giggle thinking about it being any other way.
We walk to the shed and down the stairs, the cobwebs that cover the entranceway are annoying, but as we pass the plastic panels, I see both my Aunt Janet and Uncle Donald crouching in the crates. The air smells like urine, and as I get closer, I see the puddles under them on the metal crate bottoms. Perspiration runs down both their faces.
“Marla, thank god you are here. You need to save us. A fucking psychopath took us today from our house,” Janet pleads. Her shrill voice throttles my eardrums. With a slight tilt of my head, I cast my eyes upon them. My maniacal laughter echoes through the room. “He’s not a psychopath, he’s my boyfriend.”
Her eyes widen, and my uncle doesn’t even look up. It’s like he has accepted his fate. He knows he didn’t save me. “What do you mean?” Janet mumbles.
“Remember the parties you used to come to at Mother’s house? The nights you would drink and play games and laugh at me? Remember how you told me I’d grow up and amount to nothing? Or better yet, what about the times when you told me I deserved every abusive thing that happened to me?”
“It wasn’t like that, Marla. It wasn’t that big of a deal. You take things out of context, you don’t use your brain to think properly. I’ve only tried to guide you, do what’s best for you. You know this.” A cackle escapes before I can control it.
“Janet, shut the fuck up. You're not making anything better.” Good ole Uncle Don.
“You’ve accepted what you’ve done, haven’t you?” I direct my attention to him. He doesn’t look up at me and just nods.
“Pathetic. I’m your fucking wife. You are such a pathetic, weak coward.”
I walk over to Sebastian, who’s standing by the workbench. I pick up the knife that he has laid on the worktop. “The hole is done, the table is set up, it’s up to you how you want to do this. I don’t want to take anything away from your experience.”
“I don’t know how to set up the table. I’m sure they have great nutrients in their blood for the gardens. They only eat organic shit.”
He laughs. I don’t know why, but he continues to chuckle as he hooks up the bucket and drains. “Why are you laughing?”
“Because most people in the backyard were drug addicts, the blood has done its job, even though the humans it came from weren’t great.”
I smile, opening the crate for my Uncle Don. “If you give me trouble, I slit your throat before we get to the table.” He only nods as he walks meekly to the table. He lays down on thetop without question. I’ve never seen someone so compliant. I almost feel bad, but he had just as much voice as anyone else and could have told them to stop abusing me. He could have been my saviour, but was only a servant.
“If you cut along here, the blood runs out, and gravity takes its own course. It needs pressure to hit the carotid artery. It’ll be quick. He will be gone in minutes, unlike your mother.”
Uncle Don’s eyes widen when he realizes I’m the one who ended her, which is when he starts to struggle. Sebastian latches the straps down on Don’s limbs. I look down at him, the man who could have shown me what real love was but chose not to, and I press the blade down into his neck. The skin gives way as the blade is applied harder. The blood runs in rivulets down his neck, staining his shirt and pooling on the table. I watch it rush out quicker, and it fascinates me. “Now, the only thing to do is to let him bleed out and for her to run out of steam.”
“So, we just wait here listening to it? Breathing in piss, shit, and blood?” It doesn’t go unnoticed that she’s screaming even though she’s shit her pants.
“We could go get tacos.” He shrugs one shoulder, and I think about it for a minute, looking down at my clothes and seeing I’m still clean. I put the knife on the workbench and look at him.
“Are we going?”
“We have to make sure he’s actually dead. We can’t leave and have him spring to life and save her. Sorry, my dove, there are some rules.” He walks over to the table and puts his fingers against my uncle’s neck. “Soon.”
Without a word, he leaves for the red room. He’s gone for a few minutes before he locks it back up, handing me a heavy black apron. “For her, when we get back. It helps save your clothes. You don’t notice it after a while.”
Sebastian rechecks Don’s pulse and nods his head. Grabbing his hat, he puts it on backwards and flicks off the light beforeholding open the plastic panels for me. They remind me of a grocery store or a butcher–both terrifying. You could get caught up in them, and a new fear would be unlocked.
“You can’t just fucking leave me here. I told you that you would grow up to be nothing, and I was right. You’re just a self-centred bitch.”
I laugh. “And you are just a presumptuous cunt who shit her pants.” I follow Sebastian out to the fresh air, gulping in as much as possible. My breathing increases, and the world tilts around me.
Nineteen
Sebastian
“Breathe in through your nose and out through your mouth, otherwise you are going to go into a panic,” I tell her. Watching her gulp in the fresh air makes me remember my early days. “Breathe in slowly.” I take a deepbreath through my nose, and she mimics me. “Breathe it out slowly.” We exhale together. She does it a few more times. “At first, it’s hard. The smells are overwhelming, but eventually, it doesn’t bother you anymore.”
“When did it stop bothering you?”
I think about it as we walk to the car. Once we’re in, I put my hand on her headrest and look over my shoulder to back out of the driveway. “After my father. He was a mean, sick motherfucker, but killing family is harder. With strangers, it’s easier.”
Driving to town, I go toward her apartment so she can pick up her laptop and anything else she might like.
