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“Sounds like a date. I’ll see you then.”
When I walk into the house, I see Sebastian dressed and sitting in the living room. He pats his lap and I curl up on it. “They are thrilled that I want to work on my days off. I told him not to get used to it.” He laughs.
The disconnect I feel must be in my head, but I worry it isn’t. His hand covers my wrist and his thumb strokes the skin under it, grounding me in the present.
“Get out of your head. You know it’s a scary place,” I lean against him, his warmth spreading to me. “What time are you meeting her?”
“Six, at my apartment.”
He kisses the side of my head, “You are an amazing person, Marla. Not just anyone would drop everything to be with a suffering soul. You love so freely and fiercely, and it’s everything I love about you.” His words are tender but fill the holes that have been forming in my heart.
“I love you, Sebastian. Thank you for letting me do this tonight.” His fingers are rough as they grip my chin, angling my head towards his. I don’t let my eyes look into his until his hold tightens.
“I don’t control you. You are not mine to keep. All I can do is everything in my ability to make you love me and hope that it is enough. You are enough, Marla. Everything about you is enough for me. Don’t fucking forget it.”
His tone is harsh, but his words mean a lot. I feel like I’m in a twilight zone where half the time I’m in the present living with the man of my dreams, and the other, I’m walking down the memory lane of hell with a mother who wanted me to be this dead inside.
“Now let’s go get tacos and feed the ducks.” I simply nod, unable to form words worth saying.
Belly filled with tacos, and more in the bag for Jess if she is hungry, I grab the grocery bag filled with caffeine and snacks that Sebastian bought. I give him a kiss. “I love you. Be safe tonight.”
His fingers lace within my hair pulling me closer for another kiss, “I love you, Marla. Be good.”
Jess is fiddling with her sweater and purse strap when I get to the door. “I wasn’t sure if you had eaten dinner, so I brought you extra tacos. We also have snacks and energy drinks for the morning because I’m sure that my fridge is a graveyard.”
She smiles. “Sounds great. Thank you for doing this.”I shake my head as we go inside. I haven’t been inside my apartment in at least a month.
We work together to pull my mattress out of my bedroom and lay it on the living room floor in front of the television. We spend the night barely talking and just watching different movies and shows, snacking, and at some point, I fall asleep.
It’s still dark when I wake. I roll off of the bed and go to the bathroom. As I plug in my phone, I grab a bottle of water and check my text messages. After finishing my water, I set my alarm and get back onto the mattress, pulling the covers over both of us.
When the alarm blares, it seems like I’ve been asleep for four minutes, but I know it was a couple of hours. Jess is in the shower, and I change for the day. Stepping out to my porch, I light a smoke and drink half of an energy drink. Not having enough sleep for a centre day is never a good time. I’ve learned that time and time again.
“Thank you. The shower, the sleepover, everything was perfect.” The way she words things troubles me.
“Jess, do you need a place to stay? Because you could use my apartment for however long you need.” Tears fill her eyes and I’m afraid my suspicions were right.
“You wouldn’t mind?” As the tears fall, my heart breaks. I love her and would do anything for her, the friend I wish I had met years ago.
“Of course not, we’ll sort it out after the centre, alright? We can grab some groceries afterward and get you all settled.” I have no idea what she’s been through, but I can help control where she’s going.
When I check my phone and see the time, I know we have to leave. “We better go. I can’t afford the fine.” I lock up and we walk to the centre together, grabbing some of the last numbers and making our way to the back through the herds of people.
“I think they’ve had an influx,” I whisper, and she only nods. We sit, watching the newcomers well into the afternoon. I feellike I’m half asleep. Jess’s number is called over the speaker. I look at her, shocked. Jealousy runs through me quickly before I smother the feeling.
We rise to stand together. I follow behind her as she inches her way to the front of the room. The door opens and three people dressed in light blue scrubs walk out for Jess, grabbing her number. The doctor pokes his head through the door and his eyes drag over us both.
This many people aren’t needed for an intake. I’ve watched numbers be called before. I’ve seen people go in for their intake. I hold onto Jess’s hand. I pull her back to stand beside me before they can touch her. “Ma’am, you aren’t allowed to restrain other patients. You need to let number 52 go,” one of them says to me. I look at the lady and memorize her face before I look at the others.
“Is this my intake?” Jess asks quietly.
“Miss, we’ll talk more once we’re past these doors.” I don’t like the way they are talking to her. Ominous vibes surround us, and I want to take her and flee the clinic, but I don’t think she’d follow me.
“52, it’s your time to come with us, we have to go,” one of the women in blue scrubs steps forward and takes her arm.
“Do I have time to say goodbye?” she whispers to the doctor who has come through the doorway. I’m confused until it hits me, the way she has been acting, how she doesn’t have a home and has been pulling away from me, they have deemed her as an unfit member of society.
“Fuck off. You can’t take her. She has so much to offer, you can’t possibly think that she is unfit for the world,” I scream at their faces. More people in light blue scrubs come from a door I have never noticed before.
