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“Yes,” I say, voice barely a whisper, my eyes locked on the screen. I whip my head to look at him. “What if it’s not the right time, though? We just had Emmie—”
“And you will have more time to spend with her while doing this program. My income can more than cover us, plus we’ll have some extra from you still doing some side work for Leo and other small businesses. Your dad’s inheritance is covering most of the cost of tuition. Don’t hold yourself back out of fear. There will always be a reason not to do this. There are more why you should.”
“Do you have to be so damn perfect all the time?” I complain, though I’m smiling.
He laughs. “We both know that’s not true.”
Emmie makes a little cooing noise and smacks him on the face again.
“You, little miss, are trouble. And I’m going to miss you when I go back to work.”
Miles was able to take either three months of paternity leave at full pay, or two at full pay and two at half. He chose the three full, and that’ll be up in three weeks. I’ve still got one more month, but really, I’m cherishing these last few weeks with both of us home with Emmie. I know how rare that will be in the future, so I’m soaking it in now. I love our little family.
My heart beats a little faster. He hasn’t said anything about the ring or proposing since I gave it to him, but I can see his mind working, plus he’s been looking at me with even more love in his eyes. The same way he’s looking at me right now.
It’s like a magic potion that somehow gets me to reveal exactly what I’m feeling.
“What if I end up hating it? I’m afraid of taking my own dream away from myself.”
“If you hate it, it’s not really your dream, and we’ll find what is. But I don’t think you will.”
“I hope not. Only one way to find out…” I click the electronic signature button, then use my touch screen to sign the application form. Without giving myself another second to think about it, I click the button to submit it, then lean back against the couch with a sigh. “Done.”
He leans over and kisses me. “Another brick in building our future. I’m proud of you.”
I close my laptop and set it on the coffee table, then tickle Emmie’s belly. She flails her arms and legs.
“I like how our future looks. I’m grateful to dream it all with you.”
He kisses me again, then looks down at Emmie. “Me too.”
“I’m loving being past the nauseous phase,” Rae says. “And unbelievably grateful it didn’t last the whole pregnancy like it does for some people. My palate is definitely more sensitive though. Turns out the smell and taste of coffee make me horribly nauseous. I wasn’t expecting that. Aaron makes coffee at work most days, so I never smell it. We went out for ice cream and I tried a bite of his coffee chocolate chip and then threw up.”
“Oh god, I craved it. I drank so many decaf lattes. Until last week. The nausea has returned for me, but I think it’s because I’m close to my due date and she’s pressing on everything,” Chelsea says.
We’re having girls’ night at the farmhouse. We had a big friend group dinner here first, then the boys headed to the cabin for guy time. Given that pregnancy is in the air, it’s been a key topic of discussion. I glance across the room at Emmie, who Sarah is holding and rocking back and forth.
As much as I love having Emmie, I’m glad I’m not pregnant anymore. It was special, and I loved having that connection with her, but it fucked with my emotions even more than I expected and it’s fucking hard on the body. People act like it’s the most normal thing in the world, but I think we should normalize the toll it takes because it’s rough, and I didn’t even have any complications.
“What are you craving?” I ask Rae.
“Sugar cookies. Brownies. All the chocolate things. Banana milkshakes. Chinese food. And jalapeño poppers. Those are the ones that I eat at least once a day. I ate two orders of jalapeño poppers from Marion’s the other night and Aaron looked at me like I was crazy. Normally I enjoy spicy food in very small amounts. Not now. Then I finished with two giant sugar cookies. This baby is sweet and spicy.”
“Just like you then,” Sarah says with a sweet smile.
Rae just grins back at her. Then the front door of the farmhouse swings open and Hyla flies in.
“Hi! Sorry I’m late. I was having dinner with a coworker and we got caught up talking.”
Mackenzie’s eyes are fixed on her as Hyla takes off her coat and boots and walks over to the couch, cheeks pink from the cold.
As far as I know, she and Hyla have talked like normal since the breakup and Hyla admitting she still loved Mackie, but they haven’t gotten into anything else. I don’t know if Hyla knows Mackie heard that admission. But whatever is going on, I can’t wait to see what happens next. I’m officially team Mackie and Hyla, and I hope they find their way back to each other.
By the way everyone else in the room is staring at them, they clearly feel the same.
Hyla sits down next to Mackie and grabs a blanket. “Do you still want to adopt a senior dog?”
Mackie laughs. “Uh, yeah. Why?”
