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“Later, gorgeous. This is more important.”
She stares at me for a moment, then nods, but she still smacks my ass before she walks out of the room.
“Are you sure you want to do this now? You don’t have to.”
Amelia swallows hard and nods. “I want to. I’m not sure how it’s going to make me feel, though.”
“That’s okay.” I sit back down on the couch next to her. We’d only gone through about a quarter of the tote when we found this.
She snuggles up to me and my heart melts. I fucking love snuggling with her. I’m always grabbing at her, pulling her a little closer. I need this girl, and I need her as close as possible. I rest one hand under her shirt on her stomach. I love the warmth of her skin on mine and the feel of our baby girl’s kicks.
Navigating through the menu of our Blu-ray player, I find the USB section and open it up. Amelia directs me through the folders until I find the first of a long list of videos.
“Ready?” I ask.
She nods and rests her head on my shoulder.
I push play, and a second later, the video begins.
“Ready?” Amelia’s voice comes through the TV, but I don’t see her yet. All I see are feet. Then the full picture of her father sitting up in bed.
“Sure am.” His voice is warm and smooth. He pats the bed next to him, and Amelia comes around the camera and sits down next to him. He extends his arm and she snuggles against him, much like she is with me right now. My heart is in my throat as I watch this. Even without her in my arms, I would be able to feel her pain. I know what’s coming, and it’s evident in the video. I’ve seen photos of Amelia’s dad, Max, from his healthiest times. He was around six feet with brown hair, and thin but filled out for his body shape in those photos. Here you can see his height, but he’s wearing a winter hat, his skin is pale, and he looks gaunt.
Next to me, Amelia sniffs and drops one hand so it’s resting over mine on her stomach.
“Hey, Daddy. How are you feeling today?”
“Same old, same old. How’s my girl?”
“Good. I missed you today. School was boring. It would’ve been more fun to skip and go to the movies.”
“Our old tradition.”
Amelia takes the remote from me and pauses the video.
“When I was eight, I got a horrible bloody nose at school. It got all over my clothes, so my dad brought clean ones for me. I was upset, though, and kids can be little assholes sometimes, so I didn’t want to go back to class. Dad signed me out and took me to the movies. It started a trend, and a couple of times each school year, I’d play hooky or he’d sign me out early and we’d go to a movie. Just the two of us.”
“That’s sweet.”
“He was my best friend.” She wipes her eyes. “I had other friends as a kid, but the older I got, the closer I grew to my parents. I loved doing things with them as a family. Then I had my ex-boyfriend around, and that was all I needed.” She sniffs and shakes her head. “Anyway.”
She hits play.
“I wanted to ask you a question.”
“Ask away.”
“How do you stay focused on things you don’t care about but still have to do?”
Her father nods. “Hm. Well, don’t tell your mother this, but my personal philosophy is that we shouldn’t do things we don’t want to do. I mean, of course, some things we have to do. Laundry, dishes, homework—things like that. But if you’re talking about your daily life and always forcing yourself to do things you don’t enjoy or don’t care about, then you’re doing the wrong things. Living with passion is important. It may not always be your job, but it has to be something. There must be things in your life that you’re passionate about and bring you joy. If you don’t have those things, there truly is no reason to do anything else. Why did I work a boring job most of my life? Easy. It gave me the ability to support your mother and you and it gave us this beautiful home. Fun family vacations. I was always home for dinner. I could coach your sports teams and never miss a game. I guess my answer is, you get through things you don’t care about or enjoy because they lead you to or help you have the things you do enjoy. And if they don’t… stop doing them.”
“So I have to keep going to school because it’ll help me have the future I want?”
“Most likely. Of course, there are always other options. Your mother might kick my butt if she hears me saying that, though.”
“What other options?”
“You’re trying to get me in trouble.”
