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A knock at the door jerks me out of my thoughts. Then I hear Viv’s voice.
“Emma? You okay in there?”
“Just coming out.”
Fuck, I forgot that Viv was at my house. She was the one who gave me the tests and said I needed to be sure. I didn’t have the heart to argue with her. I just wanted to shut her up and prove that it wasn’t a pregnancy making me sick.
Now she’s right, and I’m going to have to have that conversation with her.
I manage to get to my feet and flush the toilet before washing my hands. I look at both of the tests that I’ve left on the windowsill. This can’t be happening to me. When I decided to hookup with Mark that night, I thought it would just be a one-time thing. We both agreed that it would be - at least, I thought we had. This wasn’t meant to be a permanent thing.
And I’ve made it a permanent thing.
My hands are shaking as I unlock the bathroom door and find Viv waiting on the landing for me. She takes one look at my face and she hugs me.
“I’m sorry, babe. That’s not what you wanted to know, was it?”
“I can’t believe this.” It’s not just my hands that are shaking; my whole body is. “I…this…”
I can’t stop myself from crying as all of the emotions welling up inside me just break apart. I’ve not thought about having kids, not for a while. I thought it would be something I could prepare for. But not this. I never anticipated getting pregnant from a one-night stand.
This is a fucking mess.
“Oh, darling.” Viv urges me downstairs and sits me on the sofa next to her. “I know this is a shock, but it’s going to be okay. You’re going to be fine.”
“Are you sure about that?”
“Of course. It’s not the end of the world.” Viv smiles. “You might find that you’re going to ace it as being a mum.”
“You mean once I’ve gotten over the shock,” I ask snidely.
“It’s a shock now, but once you get used to it, things will get better.” Viv squeezes my shoulders. “We’ll look after you, Emma. Amy and I are always going to be there.”
Grateful, I lean into her side. The shock is going to take a while to leave, and I know she’s right that things will be okay. I just wish that I could stop shaking.
“This wasn’t meant to happen, though,” I say as I slump back against the cushions. “I am on birth control, and we didn’t make any promises for anything. It was just meant to be fun.”
“And with Mark Barnes as well.” Viv makes an appreciative noise. “I’m both impressed and jealous that you managed that.”
“That’s not helpful, Viv.”
“It wasn’t meant to be. But you’re going to have to tell him. You need to figure out how to get hold of him and let him know about the baby.”
I frown at that. In my shock finding out about my pregnancy, I forgot about that part.
“But I don’t know how to get hold of him. We didn’t exchange numbers.”
“You know what he does when he’s not using his whistle, right?”
“Viv!”
“What?” Viv laughs. “You can’t deny that he knows how to use it, can you?”
I glare at my friend. She’s really not helping with that comment. Then I notice that I’ve put my hand on my still-flat stomach. I pull my hand away, not wanting to think about that just yet.
“I know he’s a barrister. I’m sure he’s got contact details somewhere.”
“He’s London-based, yes?”
