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“I think a lot of the team thinks that, though.”
“Maybe. But you know how it is… We all give a hundred-and-ten percent all the time for this team, and your contributions are…”
“Not a hundred-and-ten percent?”
“No, I just… They look different.”
“How do they look?”
“Like you’re fine riding the bench, taking stats, and handing the others water bottles and towels.”
“What’s so wrong with that?” Layne asked.
“Nothing,” Shay said. “But it is different. Every other player on the team hates sitting on that bench. Even freshmen, who know they’re not getting on the court until maybe next season, hate sitting on that bench. They want to be out there helping the team win.”
“I guess I view it differently.”
“Tell me how?” Shay requested.
“I see it as us all having our place on the team. Sometimes, my place is handing out towels. Other times, it’s taking stats for Coach. Sometimes, I’m on the court, and I do what Coach tells me to do. Trust me, I was just as surprised as everyone else when Coach told me to run point instead of you.”
“Neither of us should have been. I was playing like shit.” Shay ran her hand over the grass in front of her. “I let it all get to me.”
“What’s it all?” Layne asked, probably knowing the answer but wanting to hear it from Shay.
“I could’ve been playing somewhere else, you know? I got into Arizona, Iowa State, Tennessee, and Virginia Tech. They all offered me scholarships. And I had interest from a few other schools, too.”
“Okay.”
“I should have gone to one of those schools. Everyone was telling me to choose one of them. I didn’t.”
“Why not?”
“Because I knew I wouldn’t play as a freshman and probably not as a sophomore, either. I’m good, yeah, but in those schools, I would’ve been a small fish. I knew their current rosters and the coach’s favorites. I would’ve been lucky to smell the court as a sophomore. I get the whole role thing. Everyone has one. But I’ve always thought my best role is out there playing, taking shots, making passes, playing good defense, and occasionally, getting some rebounds. I don’t do well sitting on the bench for entire games. Maybe it’s my maturity that needs to improve, but I think I’m better.”
“Better than?”
Shay chuckled and said, “Almost everyone. It’s a confidence trick for me. It’s not a narcissist thing, I swear. I just think I’m better, and that helps me play better.”
“So, you chose Dunbar?”
“And it finally paid off: we’re here. Weirdly, though, I don’t know that we would’ve gotten here without you, and I don’t think I could’ve said that even a month ago. It’s like something turned on in you, and you started playing better. No offense.”
“None taken,” Layne said with a little laugh and looked out at the pond that was between their hotel and the highway. “And Martin said the same thing, basically.”
“Martin said something to you?”
“That I was playing differently.”
“Oh. Yeah.”
“I told her that I think it’s because I finally realized that this is the end. Every game since the one she got injured in and I had to come off the bench could’ve been our last. And I don’t plan to go pro, even if I miraculously got on a team’s draft radar, so that would be the end of basketball for me. That would also mean it would be the end for just about every senior on the team who isn’t going pro, and I didn’t want to be the reason we lost.”
“Well, that was good of you, I guess.” Shay laughed a little and took a sip of her beer.
“It’s more than that, though.” Layne took a deep breath. “I’m ready to leave here. I think that’s what people pick up on. I needed college because I needed a business degree or something in sports management to do what I want to do, to get a good enough job in it, at least. I don’t come from money. I have no friends in high places. I took out a loan to even be able to afford to come here. Thankfully, I got a scholarship, so I don’t have any debt. I made the decision to play basketball and go to school for free because of it instead of going somewhere else and not playing but being able to have a job or something to help with expenses. I did this not because I love basketball. I like it enough. I do. And I love playing with the team. But my main goal was to get a degree and get a job, so I think that’s what people see in me that might be confusing to them. I spend more time studying because I’ve never been the best at school. That’s why I didn’t get an academic scholarship. Now, it’s almost over, and I’m ready to be done with school – for now, at least, and maybe I’ll go for my MBA later if I absolutely need it and can somehow afford it – but I realized that I wasn’t done with basketball yet.” She turned to Shay then. “It’s like now that it’s almost over, I don’t want it to be. So, yeah, something in me kind of turned on, and now, I’m ready to really play. Does that make sense?”
“I think this is the longest conversation you and I have ever had,” Shay replied.
