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“Layne…” she uttered, letting a tear streak down her face.
“Shay, I don’t know what to do here. I don’t want to worry you even more than you already are.”
“So, if you were in the hospital again, would I even know?”
“What? Of course, you would.”
“I didn’t know last time,” she countered.
“You weren’t my girlfriend then,” Layne said.
“That’s your argument?”
“I wasn’t aware that I needed one. Shay, I told you how it was over the summer. I’m sorry. I couldn’t handle anything more than I already had on my plate. My mom was my number one priority. Then, I got it, but I still had to work to keep us in that crappy apartment. It’s not easy for me. I’m not trying to say it’s easy for you, but not all of us have parents who can work from home, a nice house in a nice neighborhood, and a basketball goal in the front yard so we can stay in shape. I had none of that, okay? I had a mom I was worried about losing after already losing my dad to cancer. We have a shitty apartment where there’s rust all over the plumbing that only sometimes wants to work right, and a super who doesn’t care about fixing stuff even when there’s not a pandemic going on. I couldn’t leave my room. I lost an internship I really wanted. I had to work customer support with COVID just so we wouldn’t get kicked out while my mom got better. Then, I had to alter my entire life to come back here when I had no desire to go to grad school. So, I’m sorry, but trying to make sure you weren’t scared, too, when I was going through all of that, wasn’t at the top of my list, Shay.”
“Maybe we should…”
“What?” Layne said when Shay didn’t finish. “What? Just say it. Whatever it is. I can’t deal with school, basketball, being sick again, and you being mad at me, too, Shay. I didn’t give this to myself, you know?”
“I know. I’m… I’m sorry. I’m mad that you didn’t tell me something important again, Layne. Maybe I wasn’t your girlfriend then, but I am now, and I should’ve known you had a fever and a cough.”
“We’re both trying to protect each other, Shay. I’m trying to keep you from worrying. You’re trying to… I don’t know; protect me from COVID. We can’t do either of those things, though.”
“I’m supposed to be worrying about basketball, and you’re supposed to be worrying about an internship and if you get the job after or not.”
“Yeah, well…”
“Should we?”
“What?”
“Should we worry about those things?” Shay asked.
“Aren’t we already? Along with everything else.”
“I don’t know. I know we won last night, but I don’t remember much of the game itself. I just know my stats, but not how I earned them. It’s a blur because I was thinking about you.”
“Are you saying you don’t want to have to think about me?”
“I’m wondering if we should go on a pause.”
“This again?”
Shay could tell Layne was shaking her head without even being able to see her.
“I don’t know what to do, Layne.”
“Be my girlfriend, Shay,” Layne said.
“How can I, if you don’t let me?”
“That’s not fair. Maybe I should’ve told you about the fever, but you had a game, Shay.”
“So?”
“So, you can’t have it both ways. You can’t tell me that you need to focus on basketball or that maybe we shouldn’t do this, but that you needed to know that I was getting sick before the game, which would be a pretty big distraction.”
“Fine. Then, what do you want to do?” Shay’s phone buzzed in her hand. “Shit,” she added.
