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“It’s over, isn’t it?” Layne asked while looking at the court but talking to Shay.
“Almost,” Shay replied.
“Not the game, Shay.”
“I’m glad you’re better,” Shay said.
“Me too. But you know what I’m talking about.”
“I do. Layne, I–” Shay wiped her face with a towel she probably didn’t need and tossed the towel in the bin behind the bench. “I’ve wanted one thing my entire life.”
“I know.”
“I don’t know that I’ll get it, but there’s been some actual interest this year,” Shay continued. “And we’re in the conference championship again.”
“I know,” Layne repeated with a nod.
“I wasn’t supposed to meet you yet,” Shay shared.
“Me?”
“Someone like you. Someone I could… be with.”
“Oh,” Layne said and looked down at her feet.
“I think we should talk.” Shay sighed.
“Why? I think you’ve already made up your mind. You only called me once while I was supposedly sick, and I got a few texts, yeah, but that was it. It felt like the captain of the team was checking on a teammate, not my girlfriend making sure I was okay or actually wanting to talk to me, even though I felt fine.”
“I know,” Shay said. “I couldn’t, Layne. I wanted to… I always want to talk to you. But right now, I need to focus on my future.”
“One without me,” Layne stated as the final buzzer sounded.
They’d won a game she’d hardly paid attention to, and she stood up, leaving the water bottle and towel on the bench to deal with later.
“I’ll see you at the next practice, I guess,” she said to her now ex-girlfriend and joined the line of her teammates to tell the other team they’d played a good game.
Then, she hurried to the locker room, changed as quickly as she could, and stood off to the side of the room, waiting for the coaches to enter, while Shay sat in her usual chair and looked over at her. Layne couldn’t meet her eye, though, nor could she take in anything Coach said afterward, and when the team was dismissed, Layne left the room and headed down the hall and outside.
She knew she should walk straight to the dorm because that was the rule, but she turned right instead of going straight and decided that taking the long way there was still following the rules. She turned left up a different road and walked on, wondering how she’d managed to fall in love with someone and lose them, all in under a year.
She had no idea what would happen in a few months, when it would be time for her to move on because her athletic scholarship wouldn’t cover her to finish the program. She might be in Chicago or at home. No matter where she’d be or what she’d be doing, though, she knew she’d be doing it without Shay now.
When Layne finally got back to her room, she let the tears fall and decided a shower would wait until tomorrow. She changed for sleep and tried to close her eyes, blocking out everything she could, but her phone dinged, and she had to pick it up.
Shay: I’m sorry.
CHAPTER 29
It was wrong. Shay knew it. Ending things with Layne was wrong. She could feel it in her entire body, which was tired more from crying than from anything else. Every part of her body rang somehow with her mistake. Her eyes were bloodshot from tears, with bags under them practically every day since she’d told Layne that she was sorry. Her mind was foggy, unable to focus on school at all, so Shay was glad that she’d only needed that one credit to graduate and that the grades for this semester would come out after the season was over because she wasn’t sure she’d pass half of her classes. Basketball was supposed to be her bright spot. It was supposed to take her mind away from everything else, including the hurt, but not even basketball could save her now.
“Honey, just talk to her,” her mom told her.
“I can’t. I’m the one who ended it,” she replied.
“But you didn’t want to end anything with Layne.”
“Mom, I love her.”
