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Michael was so sick of hearing that. One step at a time. One day at a time. It was true – even if it meant taking one second at a time. He immediately thought about the AA meeting from that morning. There was another one starting soon. Maybe he needed to go to it. Maybe it would help if he were around other people fighting the same battles he was. How many were dealing with the bombshell of having a kid and sleeping with a married woman? He was angry, mostly at Marilyn. So angry he wasn’t sure how he’d act when he saw her again.
“I uhh… I think I’m gonna head into town. They’re having another meeting tonight and I think I should go to it.”
Mitch nodded. “Shit, man. I didn’t even think about all these beer bottles around.”
“It’s fine. Don’t change it just because of me. It’ll be fine.” Was it going to be fine? So much was happening all at once. Michael felt like he was drowning.
Haize prepped the dessert table with donuts, brownies, cookies, and some coffee. Even though it was an evening meeting, the participants often looked for snacks. Some would say it was replacing one addiction with another, but at least sweets wouldn’t break someone’s sobriety. It might be harmful to their diet, but it wouldn’t cause harm to others.
She put her AA book on the podium – it was well-worn from years of being used. A friend had passed it on to her, and she read it constantly. The pages were marked with tabs and there was old and new highlighting in places that particularly stood out to her.
Glancing at the clock, she noted the meeting would start in about 15 minutes. People would start trickling in slowly – many came early, some were always late, but she was glad they showed up. Even the ones with court orders were good to see – if the meeting could get through to just one of them, it was a success.
Familiar faces came through the door. They always sat in the same spot, even though there was no assigned seating. She smiled and waved at everyone, now standing at the entrance to greet them as they came in.
“Hello, Dillon! Hi Marge! So good to see you!” If anyone ever wanted to stereotype a person who came to AA, it was impossible. There was no cliché person – people you would have never guessed came – the diversity was amazing in such a small town. People drove in from the even smaller communities to catch meetings.
She hugged her sponsor – Alice – and when she looked away to greet the next person, her heart skipped a beat when she saw the man from the early bird meeting walking through the threshold. What was his name? Matt? Monte? She couldn’t recall but was thrilled he came.
“Good evening!” She stuck her hand out for him to shake it and he hesitated at first, but returned the gesture, eyes trained on hers though it seemed like something was bugging him.
“I’m here. Bet you weren’t expecting it, were you?” he said as the corners of his eyes wrinkled, on the brink of a smile that didn’t fully light up his face.
“I’m glad you’re here,” Haize replied. “Have a seat wherever you’d like. And if you wanna share, just stand up and share. No judgment here.”
He scoffed and adjusted the baseball cap on his head, exposing disheveled and spikey dark hair that went with his tan complexion and five o’clock shadow growing in on his face. His eyes were green – bright against his skin. He was attractive, and just as she had thought minutes before, there was no stereotype when it came to the type of people who were at these meetings.
“No judgment,” he repeated, clicking his tongue. “If you only knew.” He walked past her and chose a seat in the very back, keeping his head ducked low.
Walking to the podium, she began the meeting with the Serenity Prayer – a chant they always recited at the beginning of the meeting.
“My name is Haize Mullen. Most of you know me. Some of you don’t. We have some new faces joining us and I’m glad you are here. Tonight, I won’t tell my story. I’ll let some of you talk. You can stay where you are or come up to the podium. Whatever you’re most comfortable with.”
A few of the usuals told their story and how many days they had been sober. Haize stood to the side, allowing others the spotlight, silently hoping the new guy would stand and tell them a few things about himself. He didn’t. He stayed in the back, head ducked, face covered with the bill of his hat.
The meeting adjourned and people stuck around to talk. She slowly made her way toward him as he edged to the exit, attempting to be casual about running into him.
“Need me to sign anything for your parole officer?” Haize cringed. Maybe it wasn’t the best way to break the ice with him again. She didn’t want to sound jaded about their earlier encounter, but she was. She wanted him to want to be there. She wanted him to be successful. A simple attitude change could make a huge difference.
“No. I’m supposed to do two meetings a week. On different days. This one doesn’t count since I came this morning.” He had a slight southern drawl that added to his intrigue.
“Remind me what your name is again.”
He glanced at her and back to the floor. “Michael Brennan.”
“I truly am glad you came tonight. One of these days I hope you feel comfortable enough to tell us your story.”
He slid his hands into the front pockets of his jeans. “Nah. There’s nothing unique about me. You hear one story, you hear mine. Besides, like you said this morning… we only come because we have to, right?” He scoffed and forced a smile.
“Yeah. So many do that.” Something told Haize he wasn’t like that. He had a wall he was hiding behind and was so desperate to have someone break it down. “Have you thought about a sponsor?”
“A sponsor?” His thick eyebrow arched.
“Yeah. You know, someone you can call when you’re feeling the urge to have a drink. They can talk you through it. Be your voice of reason.”
“No. No one gives a shit about me to care.”
“There’s a room full of people right here who do.”
