Page 23 of The Sun to Me


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“I… I’m not sure what to say.”

“The sex, the drugs, the alcohol. Going off the rails. Losing track of time. Not having a steady job. Going to fucking prison. That’s a stain that will never go away.”

“We can blame mom for a lot of it.”

“No.” Michael shook his head again. “We can’t keep doing that. She was a horrible mother and I do blame her for lots of things, but we are men now. We are making our own lives. It’s an easy excuse to lean on, but it’s gotta stop. Someone has to stop all this!” He raked his hand through his hair. “I have that chance. Jace is probably mine. And now’s my chance.”

“I didn’t know you felt so passionately about this.”

“Now you do. And I need your help, Mitch.” One thing he was learning quickly was to not hold onto pride… to ask for help when needed. It was hard, but he had to do it.

“How can I help you?”

“Come to the meetings with me. Try it out for yourself. And if you don’t, at least drink in your room. Clean this shit up. Have respect in knowing I’ll be coming home and not have some naked lady out here in the open. Have some damn self-respect.” He chewed on the inside of his cheek. He wasn’t ready to have this conversation but now was as good of a time as any. “I’m forever grateful you’re letting me stay here. You’re letting me use this address, so I don’t go to a halfway house. You’re gonna do what you’re gonna do. I’m just letting you know what we need to try.”

“I didn’t know, Mikey. I thought you were just doing all this to go through the motions so you wouldn’t be revoked.”

“At first, that was the plan. I wanted to play the game and once this year is up, I’d do what I want. But now there’s Jace and…” He almost mentioned Haize, but Mitch would certainly take it the wrong way. She was a beautiful woman, but she was not in his life for romance. She was there to help. In another time or place, he could imagine being with her, but she was in his life to keep him clean. That was her role.

“And?”

“And my sponsor. She’s helped me see things through a different lens. And I wanna try. I have to try.”

“She?” Mitch smirked.

“Yes, my current sponsor is a woman. And that’s all I’m saying about it.”

“Okay, Mikey. Thanks for letting me know. I’ll keep it all in mind.”

Michael wasn’t sure if he was being sarcastic or if he really would think about it. Time would only tell. “I’m getting to bed. I gotta be at the shop by 7:00.”

Chapter Nine

Michael felt dread settle in the pit of his stomach when he pulled up to the clinic. He had no idea what kind of vehicle Marilyn drove to know if she was there or not. The car she had at Mitch’s place was old and white, and he didn’t see anything of that description in the parking lot.

He was mostly nervous because Jace would be there, and he hadn’t formally met the child. What a place to visit his potential child – at a doctor’s office to find out if he was his.

The waiting room was full of people, and he pulled his hat bill low in an attempt at some privacy. The town was small enough that it was impossible, but he didn’t want any attention on him.

“Michael Brennan,” the receptionist said as she arched her eyebrow. “Appointment for a paternity test?”

“Yes, ma’am.” He didn’t recognize the woman, but she knew him immediately by her reaction. His infamous reputation followed him everywhere.

“Marilyn and Jace are here. We’ll call you back shortly.”

Michael remembered how slow the clinic moved. An early appointment still warranted an all-day wait time, and he didn’t feel like sitting with Marilyn while they waited. And frankly, he didn’t want to bond with a kid until he knew for certain if he was his or not. Turning toward the chairs, he spotted her at the back with a man sitting next to her. He looked familiar, and Michael assumed that was her husband.

Before approaching them, he took a second to observe them. Jace was playing on the floor with some toys provided by the doctor’s office. Without a test, he knew that child was his. It was like looking at a photo from his past – he looked just like him at that age. He still had to have the proof on paper. Marilyn was sneaky and he had to know without any uncertainty before he progressed in getting custody. The blood test would make it official. He'd never have to wonder.

The man looked like a meth addict – thin and tall, and not in a healthy way. Michael couldn’t believe she had married someone like that, but had he not gone to prison, he would’ve been on the fast track to look just like that. Getting clean was the best thing he could’ve done for himself.

Did the guy know Marilyn had slept with him? How much had she divulged? He hated the guy being there – what exactly was he walking into? Was it their attempt at trying to intimidate him?

Sitting across from them, Marilyn smirked and focused back on the TV. “Baby, this is Michael. Michael, this is my husband, Steve. And that’s your son, Jace.” She pointed down to the child on the floor, who looked up for a brief second. He even had Michael’s green eyes.

What was he supposed to say to the child? The kid was busy playing on the floor and only briefly looked up to make eye contact before going back to his game. Michael wondered what Marilyn had said about him. What bad things had she said to Steve in his presence?

He wanted to try to talk to him, but it wasn’t the time. Instead, he studied the boy without being too creepy about it. Jace was his, there was no question about it. Dark hair, tanned skin, green eyes – it was the Brennan genes, hard at work. But he had to have proof. For him to pursue any of this, he had to know for sure.

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