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“I guess I am admitting that aren’t I?” Michael forced a smile, feeling her soft palm in his. “Thanks for everything, Haize. I mean it.”
“It’s what I do.”
He looked down into her blue eyes. A strand of her blond hair was against her cheek, and he wanted to guide it behind her ear but figured that would be too much. This wasn’t a romantic relationship. He had to stop looking at her that way. She was beautiful, but she wasn’t his and never would be. She was his sponsor to get him through and nothing else.
“I can tell you’re not used to having people help you. Have you done all this on your own?”
“I have. It took prison for me to open my eyes. To be forced into these meetings and see a counselor. I’m still not sure about the counselor…” He scoffed and she squeezed his hand, sending emotions coursing through him he hadn’t ever felt.
“The counselor is another tool. Use it. Use everything you can so you’re successful. You can do it. I know you can.” She tucked the hair behind her ear. “Now your brother…” Trailing off, she looked toward the door and gently released his hand.
“Don’t even get me started,” Michael replied. “I should get going. He’s waiting on me and I don’t wanna keep you.”
“You’re not keeping me from anything.”
“I’ll see you soon.”
“Call me if you need anything, Michael. I don’t care what time it is.”
He nodded and made his way out to the church lawn where Mitch was talking to a woman from the meeting. He was whispering something in her ear, and she was giggling as she leaned into him. Leave it to his brother to pick up dates at something like that.
“Let’s go, Mitch.”
He continued to talk for a few more seconds and slid something into her cleavage against her tank top. “See you at the next one, sweetie.” She giggled again and waved as he walked toward Michael.
“And you say I’m the one trying to pick up women at these things.”
“Not women. A woman. There’s a difference.”
Michael climbed into the passenger side of the cab and felt the truck come to life when his brother turned the key in the ignition. “Not a difference. And let’s be a little more respectful. Most of those people are trying to get clean or stay clean. Don’t upset the balance.”
“There is a difference, and I can’t help that women want me, Mikey.” He merged onto the street and took the country road back to the house. “You’re going after a specific woman. I’m going after any attractive woman who’s willing.” Mitch chewed on a toothpick and glanced at him and back to the road.
“I’m not going after her and I wish you’d stop saying that.”
“She’s ready to jump your bones, Mikey. From an outsider’s perspective, you’re inches away from getting in that woman’s pants. And how glorious that’ll be. She’s a good girl. She’s not Marilyn. I bet you had some nasty sex with Marilyn, but have you ever fucked a good girl?”
“Stop, Mitch. She’s my sponsor. I’m serious. I’m not after her and I don’t wanna get in her pants.”
“Good girls will fool you. Lady in the streets… freak in the bed as Ludacris says. It’s what you need. Get your mind off Marilyn, and this woman will do it for you.”
“Shut the fuck up!” Michael couldn’t take it anymore. “Pull the God damn truck over and just let me fucking walk!”
Mitch pulled the truck to the side of the road and put it in park, turning to face Michael. “What in the hell is your problem?”
“I told you to stop talking like that about her. I’m not after her, and you need to just stop. You keep on until it gets to be too much.” Michael took a deep breath.
“I said it before, and I’ll say it again. You’ve changed, Mikey. Talk like this never used to bother you. Not even when I’d say raunchy things about Marilyn. You’d play right along with it.”
As much as he hated to admit it, Mitch was right. Before prison, this was what they did. Get high, get drunk, bring women home, talk about them, wash, rinse, repeat. “I have changed. You’re not wrong about that. And I need you to respect that. Haize is a good woman, and I don’t want you talking like that about her anymore. Don’t screw up what I have going – she’s helping me and it’s not going any farther than that. A man and woman don’t always have to be screwing if they’re talking to each other.”
“It’s not going any farther than that,” Mitch replied, shaking his head. “But you want it to. Don’t deny it. I saw it with my own eyes. And I’m not meaning just getting in her pants. There was something there I’ve never seen you do before with any of the other women you brought home.”
“Yeah? And what did you see?”
“You were laughing and smiling. It’s been a long time since I’ve seen you genuinely having a nice conversation with anyone, much less the opposite sex. Think about that before you get defensive. I may joke and kid about sex because that’s me, but I see it, Mikey, whether you wanna admit it or not.” He grabbed the gearshift. “If you wanna get out and walk, go for it, but I think you should let me drive you the rest of the way. We’re almost home, and I promise I won’t bring it up again.”
“I’ll stay in the truck.” Michael took a second to think about his brother’s words. He had been noticing Haize beyond the AA meetings. The curve of her hips, the small of her back, and the wavy hair in her face. Maybe he was fighting sexual urges, but he knew that wasn’t the case. He could bring any woman he wanted home to satisfy those… Haize was different, but he’d never say how he felt. He couldn’t screw up the therapeutic relationship they had developed. His sobriety and freedom depended on it.
