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“Yes, Mikey. Please. After our meeting.”
“I wouldn’t miss it for the world, Haize.” He meant it. He’d told so many hollow promises in his life to get in a woman’s pants, but he meant this. He wanted to see her. Not just for the sex, but because he liked her. She was a good person, she was helpful, and he couldn’t get enough. “I can’t wait.”
Haize went through the day on autopilot. Though she hadn’t gotten much sleep with Michael over, she felt good, relaxed, and happier than she had ever been. A part of her feared he was playing her – she was skeptical about his intentions, especially knowing his background. And then she had moments where she was secure and confident that everything would be fine. She didn’t want to be judged by her past, and shouldn’t do it to him, either.
She just couldn’t believe a man like him would ever take a second glance her way. Maybe it was because she was helping him. Maybe because he was fragile and didn’t figure he had many options. The biggest challenge was that she couldn’t talk to anyone about it. This was all a secret for both… both worried it was too taboo and wrong… unethical and grounds for her to be in trouble should anyone ever find out.
She had several clients on her schedule and saw each one for about forty-five minutes before ending her counseling time. She kept her office door closed, documenting her appointments, and organizing her schedule for the week to come. In big red letters, circled three times, was her AA meeting for that evening. 5:30 PM at the church as usual.
…But it wasn’t as usual. A man who was consistently attending them would be there. A man who hadn’t shared his story with the group yet. A man who sat in the back, hat bill pulled low, sipping on coffee, and listening as others told their truths. A man who was haggard, challenged, and struggling to stay on the straight and narrow.
A man Haize had given herself too. Every bit of her, naked in front of him, legs spread for him to have his way. A tingle shot down her spine as she thought about the night before. Had she tried to resist him enough? She barely knew him past the AA meetings but was fast to let him in her pants.
He had told her his story, private and intimate in her home, just as she had done for him. She believed he likely hadn’t told many, just as he had claimed, and that had to mean something. For him to open up to her, to feel comfortable in telling such a dark story meant he wasn’t just using her for sex. He could have any woman he wanted. Why would he reveal so much?
She grabbed her phone and scrolled to his name in her messages. He had left her house around 4:30 in the morning to go home and get ready for work. He had to be at the mechanic shop bright and early and didn’t want to be late. After saying their goodbyes (and another quick round of sex right in the entryway of her house), it was the last time she had spoken to him, and it was now afternoon.
Her insecurities were getting the best of her. Why hadn’t he texted her? She didn’t expect constant communication with him, but she wanted to hear something from him, so she’d know he wasn’t going to ghost her. Should she text him? Would it seem too needy?
Haize: Hope your day is going great, Mikey!
She stared at the keyboard, wondering if she should say more. She quickly hit send and set her phone to the side, focusing back on her computer. Then she glanced at the open message. The blue bubble displayed it had been delivered, but nothing else was happening. No dots indicating he was typing.
She had to tell herself to stop it. It was sent off ten seconds ago. She typed out some more notes on a new client who had only been clean a few days. She was a complex case with a similar past to Haize.
Again, she glanced at her phone. Nothing. Maybe she should’ve asked a question. It was just a statement and maybe he didn’t feel like he had to say anything back. No dots. A blinking cursor. A brick settled in the pit of her stomach, and she sipped on her water bottle, stretching her hands over her head.
The immediate soreness was a quick reminder of the night she had. She felt like a virgin with him, far less experienced despite her past, never being with a man of his size. Another chill shot through her as she imagined his whiskers against her soft skin like sandpaper, rough and sensual. His fingers, his tongue, his power. She wanted him again and felt the warmth against the fabric of her panties.
Five minutes passed… and then ten. No text back. Maybe there was a lot to do at the mechanic shop. She got up and walked up and down the hallway. She made a detour to the bathroom and splashed water on her face, staring at herself in the mirror. She looked tired but relaxed. Her hair was pinned up in a messy bun, and her clothes were business casual. She never believed in overdressing for her clients. It was intimidating to the crowd she served, but she still wanted to look nice for them.
She padded back to her desk and stared at her laptop. Maybe she should’ve scheduled more client appointments to get her mind off things, but it wouldn’t have been fair to them. They deserved her full attention, and she wouldn’t be able to give it to them.
Her phone dinged and it made her heart skip a beat. Michael’s name flashed on the screen with a message notification. Her hands shook so badly that she almost couldn’t type in her passcode to unlock the phone.
Michael: It’s been so busy. My parole officer made a random visit to the shop.
That would explain why it took so long for his response, and Haize let out a deep breath. But honestly, it wasn’t that long. He answered within twenty minutes. Maybe her paranoia wasn’t a good thing. It’d ruin all of this before it ever got started.
Haize: Oh, wow! I hope it went good!
Michael: It went fine. I got to prove to her that I have employment.
Haize: You’re doing so great.
Michael: We are warned during the intake appointment that there will be random drop-ins. At home, work, wherever. Still unsettling when it happens, though. I haven’t been too careful about my curfew.
Haize: As long as you’re doing what you’re supposed to, it’s all good.
His curfew? Haize remembered him mentioning it a few times but couldn’t recall what time he was supposed to be home. They had gotten lucky with him staying all night with her. How easy it would be for his parole officer to show up at Mitch’s place and Mikey wasn’t there. She’d feel terrible if he got sent back because of her.
Michael: I can’t wait for tonight. It’s all I’ve been thinking about.
Haize: Same, Mikey! I’ll see you at the meeting.
Her heart skipped a beat when she read over the messages for a second time. He hadn’t ghosted her… at least not yet. “Jeez, Haize. Ease up,” she said out loud to herself, putting the phone aside to get more work done.
“Knock, knock!” Amanda Moreno came into her office. She was another counselor Haize had worked with for a while. While she wouldn’t consider her a great friend, they were acquaintances, and she was good to talk to about things. “Woah! What’s with the smile!”
