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“You stopped yourself. You’re strong, and you have no reason to apologize. This is not an easy thing to go through. I just want you to know I’m here for you. I’ll always be here for you. Just remember all the good you have. That’ll pull you back to reality.” They had avoided his first real relapse attempt. Haize knew there was more to come… and she hoped she could stop him from all of them. She loved him too much to see his whole world come crashing down around him.
Michael woke up in the middle of the night in a cold sweat. His heart was racing so fast that he felt like he was going to die, and he had a hard time catching his breath. Rolling on his side, he tried not to move too much and disturb Haize, so he got up and walked to the window, looking out at the night sky and quiet street.
Leaning his forehead on the cold glass, he closed his eyes and took in several deep breaths to try and calm himself down. The reality of the last 48 hours was hitting him hard – Mitch was dead. Jace was there, just down the hallway in his new bedroom. And Michael had almost relapsed. Had the needle full of the poison, about to jab it into his vein when Haize came in and saved the day yet again.
He owed his life to her. How many times had she talked him down from the ledge? Only this time, he was taking a step off, about to tumble off the wagon, back into a world he never wanted to return to. Mitch was dead. Holy shit, his little brother was gone. Dead by the needle, and all Michael could do was blame himself for it.
He felt Haize’s soft palm on his stomach, pulling him back to earth. She hugged him from behind, kissing up and down his spine. Her lips were soothing, her presence a natural calming effect that helped him get grounded.
Turning to face her, he dipped his head and brushed his lips over hers, the kiss growing deeper as he rested his hands on the small of her back.
“Are you okay?” she whispered, her face inches from him.
“It’s all my fault, Haize.”
She smoothed her hands down either side of his face. “What is your fault, Mikey?”
“Mitch. He’s dead because of me.”
She closed her eyes and shook her head no. “Why do you think that?”
“He always did what I did. Since we were kids. He followed me everywhere. I started using. He started using. Only… he never could follow me into sobriety. He just couldn’t find his way.”
“And that’s not your fault, Mikey. Please, don’t blame yourself for this.”
“I can’t help it. And when my mom finds out, she’s gonna blame me, too.” That was one thing he hadn’t considered. His mom needed to know about Mitch, and there was no one around to tell her but him. It sent a chill down his spine. It’d be one of the hardest conversations he’d ever have to make.
“What your mother says doesn’t matter. She’s always been a hateful woman toward you. You can’t take her seriously.” Haize kissed him again. “You’re so strong, Mikey. I’m so proud of you. Remember that little boy down the hallway. Remember how you keep saying how you’re gonna be the father you never had to him.”
“This hurts so bad, Haize. How do I get past this?” He held her close, burying his face in the nape of her neck.
“One minute at a time if you have to. Feel the emotion. Feel the pain. No one is asking you to get over it. It's impossible to get over it. But please, Mikey, use your tools. You have them. You just have to do it.”
He kissed her neck, enjoying her soft skin on his lips. She lifted her head, granting him better access. He smoothed his hands down her back again, feeling her body through her thin nightgown. Her ample breasts were against him, her perfect cleavage a nice view as he looked down at her.
“Make love to me, Mikey.” Her voice was a whisper, barely audible above their breathing.
It was the only invitation he needed. Being with her got his mind off everything. He knew the problems would be there later, but right then, he gently guided her to the bed, lying her on her back, slowly sliding her nightgown up her thighs, revealing silk panties that were already moist with her arousal.
He spread her legs and traced his index finger against her slit, as his other hand slipped the nightgown over her head, revealing her nude body to him. Her nipples were hard and ready, breasts moving up and down with her labored breathing.
Sliding her panties aside, he inserted two fingers deep inside of her and she moaned out his name. He quickly planted his lips over hers, masking her sounds of pleasure, and smiled. “Gotta be quiet. There’s a kid in the house now.”
She laughed and bucked her hips up. “Hard to do when you’re so good at this.”
He pulled his shirt over his head, and she helped guide his boxers down, the fabric getting hung on his arousal as they formed a pile of clothing on the floor by the bed. He kissed her nose, her lips, down her collarbone, slowing to spend time on each breast, flicking her nipples with his tongue, gently biting down, making her hiss. He ventured down to her stomach, kissing her hips, licking her skin, skipping over her sensual area and down to her thighs, making her beg to go back up and pleasure her.
He took his time, then finally spread her legs again, tasting her, savoring her sweet, delicious flavor. She came almost instantly, filling his mouth as he kept his face between her legs, sucking, flicking, and fingering her. She was doing her best to keep quiet, though a few yelps and moans were slightly loud enough to worry about waking Jace up.
Crossing her legs, she pulled away and wagged her finger at him. She took him deep in her mouth, her warmth so pleasurable that he almost came. She gagged from his size but didn’t stop, cupping his balls in her hands as she moved him in and out, hitting the back of her throat with each thrust.
He had to control himself and pull out before their sensual embrace came to a screeching halt. He got on top of her, pinning her to the mattress, kissing her deeply, both tasting each other on their tongues. He ran his arousal against her slit but didn’t enter her, enjoying her warmth and wetness on his taut skin. He kneaded her breast, kissing her again, loving how she was begging him to enter her. It was hard not to, and he paused at her entrance, only sliding the tip in before pulling out.
“Do you want me?” he whispered, running his hand down her face.
“Please, Mikey. Make love to me. I love you.” She whimpered and closed her eyes, the tendons in her neck tightening as she lifted her hips in an attempt to make him enter her.
“I love you, too,” he replied, sliding two inches in before pulling out.
