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Her heart went out to the boy who was abandoned by the two people who were supposed to nurture him—and the man who still carried those scars.
Turning in his arms, she rested a hand on his chest. “You’re not trouble, Jax.” She gave those words the space they needed to settle. “Earlier tonight, I had a long conversation with Lucas.”
“I noticed.” His tone told her he didn’t like it and for some reason that gave her a tiny thrill.
“Do you know what I was thinking the entire time? That I wished I was talking to you.” She rested a hand over his heart—which, she could feel, was pounding. “You’re funny and charming and thoughtful and you love what you do. You went after your happy and accomplished it. Don’t you see, your world is just too big to be fenced in. You don’t sit around waiting for approval, you go after what you want. It was the thing I admired most about Zoe, and the same thing I admire about you.”
He rested his hand over hers. “Is that what you’re doing? Waiting for approval?”
“What do you mean?” she asked, even though she knew exactly what he was referring to. That she made up this huge story instead of just telling her parents the truth because she was afraid of their disappointment.
Milly had always been too scared to ask for forgiveness, so she’d never acted at all. She made the responsible choices. Earned the responsible degree. Accepted the responsible job. Said yes to the responsible type of man. Did the responsible thing when Zoe became sick—not that she’d make a different decision, even though it cost her a lot.
“Your parents want you to move to San Francisco. You friends want you to stay in Sierra Vista. And it sounds like New York is an option.”
“It is,” she admitted. “I got a call from my old boss tonight, right before you came. She offered me a great position at the company. It’s an opportunity I thought I’d lost out on when I came here to take care of Zoe. The offer comes with a huge raise, and a change in title that gets me one step closer to VP of logistics.”
“That’s incredible.”
“It is. I’d essentially be running my own team and my own projects, which has been a dream of mine since college. I love city living. The people, the energy, the vibrations. When I was there it was just about me. It was the last time I truly felt free. But—”
“But what?’ he asked gently.
But that dream didn’t seem so bright any longer and she didn’t know why. “Going to New York means leaving everyone else behind.”
“You’ve spent your whole life worrying about everyone else.” He cupped her cheek and ran his thumb down her jawline. “Have you ever stopped to ask yourself what you want?”
There were too many cooks in Milly’s kitchen for her to even think about what she wanted, and she was so afraid to disappoint everyone that she couldn’t remember the last time she done something just for herself. Except her night with Jax, she realized. That first kiss might have been part of a dare, but the rest was a conscious decision. And that night felt as if it set a part of her, a part she’d suppressed for far too long, free.
She placed her other hand on his pec, the muscles under his blue button-down quickened her pulse. “This.” She gripped the starched collar of his shirt and tugged him down. “I want this.” And then she kissed him.
It was more of a coming together, with her lips cradling his lower one. When they pulled apart, only to come back together, their mouths changed positions, and his hands slipped to the lower curve of her back, holding firm but sensual, in an authoritative way that made her feel protected.
They held still, breathing the same air; their bodies melding into one another. Never breaking their hold, she walked him backward to the bed and pushed him onto the mattress. His powerful, muscled body moved with the easy grace of an athlete.
She crawled onto his lap—one knee on either side of his sturdy thighs.
The skirt of her dress inhibited her ability to fully lower herself down, so she tugged at the material.
“Let me help with that,” he said, his hands sliding up her legs and under the silky fabric. She moaned at the feeling of his rough palms against her skin.
The hem reached as high as it could go, and he stilled completely. “Angel, are you commando right now?”
She bit her lower lip. “The dress is a little too tight, and it showed panty lines.”
“This dress is the perfect amount of tight, and if this is your way of testing my ability to follow rules, know that I’m going to fail epically.”
Milly pushed back into his palms. “You do everything epically, if I remember correctly.”
His eyes glowed with a savage inner fire. “And what do you remember?”
“Every touch, every caress, every time you … ” She rose up on her knees and, plastering her body to his, slid back down in a position that ensured her core would connect with the bulge in his pants. “I could go on, but anything else would constitute verbal foreplay.”
“What the hell do you call all of those little moans you’re making?”
“The natural exhalation of air from my lungs.”
“There isn’t anything natural about this.” He rolled up against her and she caught fire. “Chemistry is too benign a word to explain how our bodies react around one another. I can feel the pulse from across the room.”
