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“Fine. Where do you want me to start?” Lucas asked.
“At the beginning.”
Lucas eyeballed him for a good long beat, his brow lowering until he was practically squinting.
“I didn’t include you in that breakfast with Cindy because I didn’t want to give you false hope. The last time she’d gone off the wagon, you went to a dark place and I didn’t want you to go back there. I wasn’t going to tell you until I saw her walk through the facility’s door. And I was right, she didn’t go.”
Jax’s body went rigid. “Why didn’t she call me?”
“She didn’t call me either. Her ‘boyfriend’ did when she backed into a parked car, drunk. I bribed her with money and she actually showed.”
With every word he said Jax’s shoulders lowered slightly. “Why didn’t you just tell me that?”
“Are you kidding? I’ve been trying to tell you for a year. And the last time I brought it up you punched me in the face, then walked off like a tantrum-throwing toddler.”
Jax hadn’t walked, he’d ran—hard and fast.
“I know that face,” Lucas said. “I had that face. What aren’t you telling me?”
“I punched you because Mom called me a week later asking for money. She told me that you gave her money again and that she’d used it on the down payment on the lease.”
“The only money I gave was to the rehab center and she bailed after one week.”
“Well, shit, I actually gave her money, scot-free,” Jax said.
“Well, who’s the dumb brother now.”
Lucas sat back and laughed; Jax joined in. It felt good. To laugh about their mom instead of arguing.
The tension and anger dissipated and what was left were two brothers who had been played against each other by the one person who was supposed to keep them safe. But none of that mattered, when they were each other’s ride or die.
“I think you still take the trophy because you walked away from the best thing in your life.”
“You take the trophy. At least I gave a relationship an attempt. When was the last time you gave it a try?”
Their eyes locked together for an interminable amount of time. “Did you really give it a try?” Lucas asked. “No, no you did not.”
Brynn popped her head in. “You guys roshambo for the title of Biggest Idiot?”
“What the hell, Brynn?” Lucas asked. “Did you have your ear to the door?”
“Do you even have to ask?” she said, then walked over to sit on the corner of the desk. “So, roshambo or ax throwing? A good old fashion wood-chopping competition? Oh, I know. Why don’t you guys pitch yourselves off Vista Peak and whichever idiot makes it to the bottom first is the winner.”
“No point. I’m the bigger idiot,” Jax said.
Brynn’s face went sad. “You really are. You broke her heart, Jax.”
A fact that he already knew and didn’t need reminding. “Is she okay?”
“What do you think?” Brynn asked.
If she was half as bad off as he was, then he was even a bigger asshole than he thought. He hadn’t slept in three days. His eyes were scratchy, his mind scrambled, and his heart in pieces. And he deserved it. “Have you seen her?”
Brynn kicked the side of Jax’s boots with the toe of her shoe. “The question is why haven’t you?”
Lucas looked at him, long and hard. Then a knowing smile curled at his lips. “He knows why. He’s just too chicken to own it.”
Brynn threw her hands up in exasperation. “Men are such idiots.”
