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It’s the best I can offer.
I can see that he doesn’t really like the bargain, but he can’t stop me either.
I sit on the small lounge chair and pull on my jeans, but I accept Luca’s help for my boots. He ties the laces swiftly, his hands lingering on my calves as he finishes and sets my feet back onthe ground. He cups his hands behind the backs of my knees and pulls me closer to him.
“If I say run, promise me that you’ll run.” He says.
I could get lost in the depths of his eyes. There’s so much pain there. He’s lost so much more than a person his age, or any person ever, should have ever had to lose. I want to promise him that I will do what he asks, but I don’t know if I can.
Luca’s thumbs sweep across the outsides of my thighs. I feel like there is so much weight behind this question - like there is so much riding on it and I am at a loss for words. I won’t lie to him. I won’t.
Alexei interrupts us as he swings into the doorframe.
“The cars are ready and waiting out front for us. I have all the discharge papers. Everything is ready to go.” Alexei looks at the pair of us and gives me a strange look before he continues speaking. “Your man, Dario, is outside and waiting to bring you back to the estate so we can arm up.”
Just like that, Luca switches into business mode. He nods sharply at my brother. In a movement that ought to have been too fluid for a guy his size, Luca rolls back through the heels of his feet into a standing motion and holds out a hand to me to help me up too.
I take it without another word.
Moments later we are sitting in the back seat of the car with Dario driving. Alexei and Nora are in the Range Rover in front of us. I can’t see a thing through the armored windows, any more than anybody would be able to see us if they were to look over.
I can’t seem to stop fidgeting with the hem of my shirt. It feels so strange how it brushes against the fabric of the bandages around my torso. It’s like a corset but worse somehow. Luca’s arm is draped across the seat behind me and for the first few minutes of the trip, he is silent.
I’m starting to learn which silences are just him wanting to say something, and denying himself. This is one of those times.
“I’m going to be fine.” I say suddenly.
Beside me, Luca tenses. The knuckles on his hand pop as he balls them into fists and unclenches them.
“You can’t possibly know that.”
“But I do.” I assure him. “We have a good plan. This was a small hiccup. Your father made a move that we weren’t expecting. Now we know that he’s going off the deep end. One way or another, this is going to work out. You’re going to be fine. That’s the only outcome that I can accept. One where all of us walk away from this in mostly one piece if possible.”
“Seeing you like that… struggling to breathe… lying in that hospital bed looking so lifeless.” Luca tears his eyes from me andstares out of the window. I can only imagine what it must have been like. It probably brought back terrible memories of seeing his mother in a similar place all those years ago.
“I would have traded places with you in an instant.” Luca confesses. His voice softens as if what he’s about to say makes him feel too vulnerable. I’m on baited breath listening to him. “Seeing you like that… I don’t want to live in a world that you aren’t in it, Katya.”
My heart skips a beat.
I force a smile, trying to bring some levity to the situation.
Even as I nudge Luca with my shoulder, something inside of me heats at his words. I couldn’t have imagined that Luca would look after me like this. That he could care so much about me.
“I am serious.” Luca admits and traps me in his gaze. My heart flutters in my chest as he wraps his arms around me and pulls me into his lap. Luca’s hands are careful not to touch any part of me that’s injured. Even as his strong hands ghost over my skin his movements are impossibly soft. It almost feels reverent as he kisses my forehead and then the corner of my lips. I wrap my arms around his neck and let my forehead touch his as my hair falls down like a curtain around the pair of us.
“Whatever happens today, you and I will come out the other side of it stronger.”
I grin. “Is that your positive affirmation for the day?”
Luca pinches my ass in playful chastisement and I yelp, bucking my hips forward. Normally, such a thing would be the beginning of a few really fun hours, but this time it hurts. My brow furrows as I swallow back the yelp of pain.
Concern colors Luca’s features. I shake my head softly because I’m not going to stop or sit this one out just because a movement twinged me. His hands soften and come to rest on my hips before he pulls me into his chest.
I spend the rest of the drive in his arms, only separating when Dario announces that Alexei will meet us at my apartment. We take the elevator up and a sense of dread starts to turn into tar in my stomach. I can’t place it, but I feel like we need to move quickly now. Every moment wasted I just keep thinking about Marci and all of the terrible things that can happen.
“Your father… he won’t…” I swallow the rest of that sentence. I’m not going to believe the answer anyway. It won’t make me feel better.
Thankfully, Luca doesn’t comment on it as we walk into my apartment.
