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“Tell me what happened. I don’t know anything after I fell, and I didn’t exactly question them,” I tell her, feeling shame.
“When you fell—” She licks her lips. “The pack rallied. The hunters were busy taking you and the others . . . the hunters with you. They started to fall back, realising they were outnumbered, and we drove them back as much as we could. We stayed vigilant all day and night. We put out the fires and collected our dead. It was then I realised Jang was gone. I was—am so numb. It was all moving so fast.”
“I know,” I murmur. “I couldn’t even think, so I cannot imagine how you feel.”
She nods, a tear rolling down her cheek, but she tilts her head back.
My warrior mother.
She swallows. “I’ve tried to lead as best as I can, but I was never meant to be alpha, not like you or Jang.” She hesitates.“Filmea is dead. White was hurt, but he’s recovering. We lost thirty wolves, and another thirty are injured. The pack house is gone, so I have spread everyone out. I have wolves on patrol. I wanted to send them after you, but I couldn’t spare?—”
“You don’t owe me an explanation,” I promise, squeezing her hand. “You did what’s best for the pack, and that’s all that matters. It was what I hoped. I thought . . . I thought I’d find nothing but cinders.”
We are quiet for a moment, and we stop in front of the lake, looking out at the water. “So what happens now?” she asks. She’s my mother, but right now, she is lost and looking to me for guidance. After all, I was trained and prepared for this day, just not in these circumstances.
“Tomorrow, I will visit each injured wolf and heal as many as I can. I will put more betas on patrol and check in. The hunters are wounded, so they won’t strike soon, which means we have time. We need to rebuild the pack house, but that can wait. Right now, we need to house everyone and give them stability so they don’t flee. This is still our home. Tomorrow night . . . we will honour Jang and bury him and the dead. Then, we’ll rebuild and prepare. I will select a willing alpha, someone we can trust?—”
“Wait, why not you?” she asks. “Jang picked you.”
“I betrayed the pack. I was on trial. I cannot be alpha. I will step up with the betas and help until we are settled, and then I will find someone suitable, someone who can earn their trust?—”
“You can re-earn it,” she snaps. “This is your land, your family, and your pack. For once in your life, Quinn, do not do the honourable thing. We need you. I need you. This pack needs you. Jang knew you were ready, knew you were the one, so don’t dishonour that.”
I stare out at the lake. “We will see. We have time before that.”
I won’t admit that I don’t know if I can be alpha anymore. I made so many mistakes, ones that got people killed. Their blood is on my hands, and I don’t know if I have the stomach or the strength to lead anyone through that, not when I blame myself.
She gazes out at the lake. “Do you want to know why I didn’t simply follow him?” she murmurs.
My head jerks around, and I nod slowly. When I saw Marie alive and well, I thought she was a ghost.
“You.” She looks at me. “I stayed for you. I will always stay for you, even if my heart is broken. I know he is waiting. He will wait for eternity if he has to, knowing I’m here looking after our daughter, so I tied myself to this world and to you, and when the time comes, I will rejoin my mate in the moon.” She kisses my cheek. “I am here. I am at your side. Forgive yourself, Quinn. You did everything you could to save us. The world doesn’t rest on your shoulders. Now, get some sleep because tomorrow is a new day, and we have a lot to discuss.”
I follow her eyes to the cabin, seeing the three faces at the window before they drop out of sight. Rolling my eyes, I snort. “A lot. They saved my life.”
“I know or they would be dead. They stood with us, fought with us.” She squeezes my shoulder. “In old times, they would be bloodied in battle and celebrated as heroes of the pack. I won’t ask why they are wolves?—”
“I had no choice. We would all be dead if I didn’t turn them, but I gave them a choice,” I admit.
She sighs. “Then okay, we’ll figure it out.”
“They are hunters,” I mumble.
“Were. Now, they are wolves, and they are here, Quinn, and that means something. They are here, and they fought for you and us because of you. Remember that.” She leans in and kisses my cheek. “I’m tired all of a sudden. I’m going to rest.”
“You can stay here,” I start, but she chuckles humourlessly.
“I may have lost my home, but I have my memories, Quinn. It was just a building. My home is right here.” She presses her hand to her heart. “He is with me wherever I go. I will sleep with the pack tonight and give you your space. Make sure to rest. We’ll talk in the morning.”
She starts to walk away, looking so lonely I call out, “Mum.” She stills, and I take a deep breath. “Thank you for staying for me. I couldn’t have dealt with losing both of you. I know it’s hurting you to simply be alive without him, but thank you.”
“I have fought for you every day since you were a child. I won’t stop now, Quinn. Where you go, I go. I am your mother, your biggest supporter, and when the time comes, your father and I will be together again, and he will be so proud.”
I watch her go and for a moment, I swear the moon’s rays form the shape of my father walking at her side. She’s right. He will wait for her. It’s selfish, and I know she’s hurting, but I’m glad she’s still here with me. I don’t think I could do this alone.
But I’m not alone, am I?
I glance back at my cabin and sigh, heading in.
