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Themoment it saw me, it started to growl.
Ihave always been an animal lover.Infact, up until that point,Ihad been pretty sureIwanted to be a veterinarian whenIgrew up.Butthat day changed my life forever and not in a good way.
Thewolfdog started growling, asIsaid, andIcould feel my heart pounding right away.Theysay dogs can smell fear on you—wellIwas deathly afraid.Icould tell somehow that the animal meant me harm.
Itdidn’t like me for some reason—Idon’t know why.Maybebecause of theRoyalblood of theFirstWolvesthatIsupposedly have in my ancestry.I’vesince learned that different animals react to it in different ways.Butfor some reason, this wolfdog hated me right from the moment it saw me—or smelled me or whatever.
Colesaw the threat at once.
“Lilah, get behind me,” he said in a low, calm voice. “We’regoing to walk backwards very slowly towards the fence.Okay?”
“O-okay,”Isaid, my voice shaking.ButIdidn’t even get a single step because it seemed like something in my voice set the wolfdog off.
Theanimal leapt at me andIknew right away it was going for my throat.Mrs.Krasinskyhad opened the front door again and was in the act of shouting at it, but she would have been too late.Infact,Iwould have gotten my throat torn out then and there ifColehadn’t stepped directly in front of me to take the full brunt of the attack himself.
Hemanaged to get his left arm up and that was what the wolfdog latched onto.Witha savage snarl it bit down hard on his wrist.Iheard my big brother grunt in pain and a sound like a cracking tree branch.
Buteven though it had my big brother by the arm, the wolfdog was still crazy to get at me.Itfoamed at the mouth with fury as deep, terrifying growls rose from its shaggy throat.Itwas fighting to get away, butColesomehow had it by the collar with his right hand and he was forcing his hurt left arm even further into its jaws to keep it from getting free and tearing my face off.
Becausethat was pretty clearly what it wanted to do—it didn’t give a shit aboutCole—it wanted to get to me and it wanted to hurt me—maybe evenkillme.Don’task me howIknew that—Wereinstinct maybe.ButIremember feeling it in my bones and knowing that ifColehadn’t been there, protecting me,Iwould have been lying there on the neighbors’ manicured front law with my throat ripped out and my blood painting the neat green grass scarlet.
ThenMrs.Krasinskywas rushing down the front steps shouting at the dog and hitting it with a broom.Foamand blood were running out of its mouth—Cole’sblood,Irealized feeling faint and sick.Hewas bleeding forme—he’d been wounded for me because he’d stepped in to protect me.
Theygot the wolfdog off at last—Iheard later that it had to be put down.Butat that moment, allIcould see was the terrible damage it had done, all in under a minute.
Cole’sarm was a mangled mess—one of the bones in his forearm was broken and the skin around his wrist had been shredded.Hehad to go to theERright away—my new mom drove him andIcame too.Iremember sitting in the waiting room while they treated him, crying.
Iwas so afraid he would hate me now, because he’d gotten hurt because of me.Andalso that my new family—whichIwas really beginning to like—wouldn’t want me anymore.Afterall, we were allWeresand the men in the family turn into huge wolves.Whatdid it say about me that a regular wolf hated me so much it would try to attack me like that?
ButIhadn’t given my new family enough credit.WhenIwas finally allowed to go see my new big brother,Ifound him sitting up in a hospital bed with his left arm in a kind of cast.Myadoptive mom was outside talking to the doctor in the hall, so it was just the two of us.
“Hey,Lilah,” he said, whenIcame reluctantly into the room dragging my feet becauseIwas afraid he was mad at me. “What’swrong?”
“Areyou okay,Cole?”Ilooked up at him fearfully. “Imean,I’mso sorry you got hurt for me!Idon’t knowwhya wolf would hate me like that.”
Imeant,Ididn’t know why a wolf would hate me whenIwas aWere.Coleunderstood.
“Animalscan be unpredictable,” he said, shrugging. “Itdoesn’t have anything to do with you, baby.”
“Buthehurtyou.”Icould feel tears stinging my eyes asIlooked at the white cast on his arm. “Imean, he wanted to hurtmebut you stopped him.”
“OfcourseIdid.Icouldn’t let him get my new little sister, couldI?”Colegave me an easy grin, though he had to still be in pain.MaleWerescan heal almost any injury pretty quickly,afterthey have their firstShift.ButColehadn’t had his yet, so he was going to be in a cast for a while.
“So…you’re not mad at me?”Iasked uncertainly. “Imean, you don’t blame me?”
“Ofcourse not.Hey, come here okay?”Hebeckoned for me with his right hand andIcame over to stand beside the bed. “Look,noneof this was your fault,” he murmured, reaching out to ruffle my hair.Healways loved to play with my long, corkscrew curls.
Ileaned into his touch—Ialways loved it when he touched me, even back then when there was nothing sexual about it.
“Thankyou for saving me,Cole,”Isaid, daring to meet his eyes. “You’rethe best big brother anyone could ask for.I…Iwas soscared.”
“Iknow, baby.”Iloved it when he called me that tender little nickname.Hecupped my face in his free hand for a moment and brushed at my cheek with his thumb.IrealizedIwas crying and he was wiping away the tears.AndasIlooked into his piercing blue eyes,IknewInever wanted to be anywhere but by my new big brother’s side…
That’sallIreally remember of that incident.Mymemories end right there in the hospital room withColestroking my cheek so gently and telling me not to worry, that everything would be okay.Canyou blame me for falling in love with him?Hewas my fearless protector, my comforter, my friend and confidant…not to mention the first and only man who had awakened my body and my sexual instincts.
Besidesmy forbidden love for my big brother, the other thingIgot from the wolfdog attack was a terrible fear of dogs—especially ones that looked like wolves.Iknow,Iknow—that’s not a great phobia to have when you’re aWere.I’vetried and tried to overcome it, too.Butevery timeIget anywhere near a dog—especially one that looks like it might have wolf in it—Istart sweating and my heart starts pounding like it’s trying to break out of my chest and run away.
Itmight have been a real problem for me ifIhadn’t been a dud.ButsinceIwasn’t showing anyWerecharacteristics, my adoptive parents simply kept me away fromPackmeetings soIwouldn’t have to see anyoneShiftinto theirFurForm.
