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The distressed thoughts ran over and over on a loop in Ketha’s mind as she hurriedly punched the coordinates for home into her nav-com. She couldn’t get away from the space station fast enough. The whole encounter with the big Kindred had gone extremely well at first…and then ended disastrously.
But isn’t he right—don’t you feel some kind of connection?whispered a little voice in her head.A longing to be with him—to stay with him? To let him hold you and call you “baby?”
Ketha pushed the little voice aside ruthlessly. She couldn’t just run away with the big Kindred—she had a life back on Yonnie Six! True, it wasn’t always a very happy life, considering how contentious her mother was. But she had friends and hobbies and other interests and besides, she couldn’t imagine living with a male in a committed relationship. What would that even be like?
It would be like this,growled Styx’s voice in her head and suddenly she was flooded with visions of the two of them together. Living on his spaceship…traveling from port to port…seeing exotic planets…meeting new people…trying new cuisines. And then at night, cuddling together in his big bed, with his muscular body wrapped protectively around hers as he spooned her and stroked her growing belly…growing with the child he had planted inside her…
“No—stop!”Ketha sent fiercely.“I told you, I can’t do that! I have a life I have to get back to and you have a life too—a life away from me!’
“So you want to go back to that cantankerous shrew of a mother and try to please her even though nothing you do ever makes her happy?”he demanded.
“Hey—how did you know that? Stay out of my head and my memories!”she warned.
“I’m not digging through your memories—I’m just picking up the feelings and thoughts you’re sending,”Styx told her.“You’re not happy at home—so why don’t you come make a new home with me? I know you’ve been taught to believe that males are lower life forms, but some of us aren’t so bad—once you get to know us.”
“I can’t—I can’t do that! I have to go home!”
Ketha was crying now—hot tears stinging her eyes and rolling down her face. Half of her just wanted to go home but the other half wanted desperately to take the big Kindred up on his offer and go live with him and make a life with him. Which was crazy, right? They barely knew each other! And yet the feelings persisted.
“You’re feeling that way because we’re Fated Mates,”Styx sent to her.“The Goddess means for us to be together.”
“No—no, that can’t be right!”Ketha protested.
She shook her head and swiped at her eyes. She felt like she was being torn in two and it was killing her! She wondered if there was any kind of limit on their mental communication—would Styx always be able to talk to her mentally and torment her like this, or would it stop when they got far enough away from each other?
“There’s a limit to how far apart we can get and still hear each other,”he admitted, and she thought that his mental voice already sounded a little fainter.“Once you go back to Yonnie Six, I won’t be able to reach you anymore. That’s why I’m trying to reason with you now, little girl.”
“Just stop!”Ketha begged him.“I can’t go with you—I have to go home! I’m supposed to carry on our family business and dynasty.”
“Do you really think that’s going to make you happy?”he demanded.
“I don’t know! But I DO know I can’t just abandon my whole life to go with a male I’ve only met twice!”
“’Met twice?’ You make it sound like we shook hands and said ‘hello.’ WeBonded, baby—we’re tied together mentally, physically, emotionally, and spiritually,”his deep, growling voice informed her.“Plus, the odds are, you’re carrying my child.”
“It’s MY child!”Ketha shot back.“It has nothing to do with you—you were just the sperm donor!”
The minute she sent the words, she knew she had gone too far. She could feel a sense of coldness and withdrawal coming from the other end of the mysterious mental connection she had somehow formed with the big Kindred.
“All right—be that way then. If you really want me to leave you alone, I will—I’ll never contact you again,”Styx told her.
“That’sexactlywhat I want!”Ketha shot back.“Just leave me alone and we’ll go our separate ways.”
“Fine. Have a nice life, sweetheart.”
And then, suddenly, he was gone. Oh, she still felt his presence at the other end of the strange connection, but it was muted now—as though he had put up a wall between them. Clearly he intended to make good on his promise to never speak to her again.
The big Kindred’s sudden silence should have relieved her—instead Ketha began sobbing harder than ever. She felt a sense of loss, almost as though someone she loved had died!
But Idon’tlove him—I barely evenknowhim!she protested to herself.Why am I so upset? What’s wrong with me?
Maybe it had something to do with the Soul Bond they had formed when they were having sex? The longing she felt to be with him—to be held by him—must be a direct result of forming the weird, spiritual connection with the big Kindred.
I didn’t mean to—he should have warned me!she thought angrily. But surely the sense of loss and the feelings of longing for the big Kindred would fade in time, she told herself.
At least she hoped so. If she had to go on feeling like she did right now—as though her heart was breaking—her life was going to be miserable from now on!
“Stop it!” Ketha said out loud, speaking to herself sternly. “Get yourself together, girl! You’ve got a long way to fly and you can’t spend the whole trip feeling sorry for yourself!”
