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And if that meant she was probably going to be single the rest of her life, well—so be it.
Of course, it wasn’t all Courick’s fault—she should have been more upfront about her situation. But then again, if he would have stayed to listen, she was sure they could have cleared things up. Instead, he’d acted like she was some kind of evil temptress, trying to lure him into sin. She’d just been trying to take their relationship to the next level—that was all.
Now it was clear to her that their relationship had been nothing but an illusion—a big, fat nothing burger, Addison thought resentfully. Though her heart ached, she promised herself that she would put the big Kindred out of her mind. He wasn’t the first man to leave her when she was vulnerable but he was going to be the last.
Addison was never going to herself fall in love again.
20
COURICK
“Good day to you, Warrior. How may I help you?”
The priestess who addressed him was an older one. Her hair was streaked with green and she had the green-within-green eyes which meant that she had communed with the Goddess directly for many years.
For some reason, Courick felt uncomfortable when she turned those strange and holy eyes on him. He’d spent a restless night, tossing and turning and trying to rehearse what to say during this meeting. But somehow, now that he was here in the Sacred Grove, he felt guilty—as though he was trying to get away with something that was wrong. However, there was nothing to do but answer the priestess and try to get one with things.
“Er, hello, your Holiness,” he said formally, bowing his head. “I have come to seek the Goddess’s blessing. I’m about to take a new assignment as a diplomat to an ally on a distant world and I would like her good will to go with me.”
“Mm-hmm, I see.” The priestess nodded but didn’t move and her eyes still looked hard.
“Can I get her blessing?” Courick asked, feeling impatient and also uncomfortable under her scrutiny.
“Not until you’re honest with both me and yourself—what are you running from, Warrior?” The priestess raised her eyebrows.
“Running from? What are you talking about?” he demanded. “I didn’t come to the Sacred Grove to be interrogated!”
“No, but you didn’t really come for the will of the Goddess, either, did you?” The priestess appeared unruffled by his angry words. “You came for justification of your actions—but I can’t condone your flight until I know more about it. Kneel—I will Look Into you.”
“What? No—that’s not necessary.” Courick took a step back, the green and purple grass whispering against his bare feet. He had removed his boots to enter the Sacred Grove, filled with rustling trees, but now he wished he hadn’t. He just wanted to get out of here!
But the priestess only shrugged her shoulders, which made her long white robe ripple.
“Very well. But if you will not submit, I cannot give you the blessing of the Goddess.”
Courick had been about to turn and leave but now he paused. He couldn’t go without the Goddess’s blessing—he couldn’t lie about such a sacred thing and he knew that Sylvan would ask him before allowing him to take the new position.
“Well…all right,” he said at last, coming back to the priestess. “But please, make it quick. Allowing another into one’s mind is not a comfortable experience.”
“Believe me, Warrior, it isn’t comfortable for me either,” the priestess assured him. “Whatever pain I find in you, I will have to experience myself. But sometimes it is necessary to know the will of the Goddess. Now kneel that I may reach you.”
Unwillingly, Courick got to his knees. He closed his eyes as he felt the priestess’s cool fingertips press against his temples. And then there was the sensation he had dreaded—the feeling of an outside presence rummaging through his mind, looking at his memories.
To give the priestess credit, her mental touch was light. But he could still feel her looking at events in his past that he had locked away and tried his best to forget.
“I see…I see…” she murmured as she searched. “A young and lovely mate…the hopes you had for a bright future…a pleasure trip to a distant planet that you thought was safe…”
“I left her there—locked in the ship. I thought it was secure. I don’t know…don’t know how they got in.” Courick heard the pain in his own voice but he couldn’t seem to help it.
“You came back to find the ship’s door hanging open…you heard her dying screams…you ran to her but?—”
“But it was too late,” Courick finished in a low voice. “They had defiled her and stabbed her over and over—she’d lost too much blood. By the time I killed them, she was gone. Oh, Yasha…”
“Too late…you reached her too late…ahhh, the pain! The anguish and the guilt—the burden you have carried all these years…”
The priestess withdrew her fingers abruptly. When Courick looked up, he saw tears in her green-within-green eyes.
“Forgive me,” he said roughly. “I didn’t mean to make my pain yours.”
