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“Why ask me to come with you?”
“Truthfully? Our relationship was damaged. I wanted to repair it and make amends. I wrongfully blamed you over what happened—” I cut off whatever Diesel was about to say. “No, I did. And to say I was spiralling is an understatement. Neither I nor anyone else saw it. It was too easy to hide how I felt, and bottle those feelings up, and I got PTSD. Of course, we didn’t realise I had that; we aren’t trained to see it. But Janet has helped me a shitload. You weren’t to blame, and if not for you, I wouldn’t be alive. Diesel, you saved my life, and I was ungrateful.”
“But I took away your ability to have kids,” Diesel said, and I saw the guilt cross his face.
“That wouldn’t matter if I’d died. That’s what you need to accept. Who cares if I could have more children if I were six feet under? Instead, you saved me and, in doing so, allowed Chance to save Olivia and Isla. If he’d been grieving, he wouldn’t have taken those beautiful girls on.”
Those two youngsters were now ours permanently. Olivia was two and Isla three, both small for their age, bless them. Sadly, they were badly underweight and underdeveloped, and their speech and social skills were seriously lacking. But Chance and I loved them, and they were beginning to blossom under our care.
I’d gone out of my way to ensure I spent time with Louisa and Dax, who’d been confused by my breakdown. The guilt at first had been heavy, but I now understood I couldn’t look after them until I took care of myself. I was stronger than everyone gave me credit for, but nobody seemed to realise that.
“Because we love you,” Diesel suggested, and I realised I’d spoken my thoughts aloud.
“Then I need to be allowed to spread my wings,” I replied.
“You really are healed,” Diesel mused.
“No. But I am well on my way. I’m going to be the head old lady Hellfire deserves. And with your support in treating me normally, the others will see it too,” I said.
“Done,” Diesel agreed.
“Now, let’s go get some prizes,” I replied with a manic grin.
Diesel looked worried and then relaxed. “How bad can this be?” he asked.
My laugh should have warned him!
???
“Never again!” Diesel bellowed as I climbed out of the SUV. Chance, Bear, Thalia, and Chey were all outside and peered up at his yell.
Worry instantly crossed Chance’s face as he turned towards us.
“Oh, shush up! It wasn’t that bad!” I retorted, climbing out.
Diesel backed away from the SUV at speed.
“What happened?” Chance called, concerned.
“A twelve-inch dildo in sparkling purple!” Diesel yelled.
Chance stopped in his tracks as I sent him a wicked grin, and Thalia’s mouth dropped open.
“Say what?” Bear asked, interested.
“She made me go into a sex shop with her!” Diesel spluttered.
“Are you telling me you and Alice have never been to one?” I demanded, outraged.
“That is not your business! Chance should be visiting sexy shops with you. Not me!” Diesel yelled and stormed away, muttering under his breath.
“That’s okay, asshole, I won’t tell Alice about those nipple clamps you were looking at!” I shouted.
Diesel stopped and spun before pointing two fingers at his own eyes and then at me. He then continued his stomping as he headed into the clubhouse.
I began giggling as I walked around the SUV to the driver’s seat. As I went to close the door, a hand caught it and pulled it gently from my grip.
“Okay?” Chance asked, his gaze searching my face.
