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“Not here,” he mutters. “Get in the car.”
Cole is already walking toward a gleaming white Range Rover. He opens the passenger’s side door and stands there, looking impatient. My eyes widen.
Have I earned this gentlemanly treatment all the sudden?
“Are you coming or not?” he calls, his voice testy.
I have no idea what he’s talking about, but I hurry to get in the passenger side of the SUV. Cole shuts my door, sprints around to climb in his side, cranks the heat, and pulls out before I can even get my seatbelt on.
“Where are we going? And whose car is this?”
His lips curl up just slightly.
“We’re on a food run to the grocery store in the Cape. Apparently, whoever got the food neglected to get anything gluten free. So I volunteered to go get something.” He presses his lips together. “And this is my dad’s SUV. I borrowed it to be able to haul stuff today.”
“Ah.” I chew my bottom lip. There are about fifty things I want to say to Cole. Ten of them are things I probably need to say. But somehow none of them seem called for.
So I stare out the window at the bleary gray landscape instead.
“What, no cheerful quips today?” Cole prompts.
I hear my mom’s voice in the back of my head. Girls should be cleaner than sunshine and sweeter than honey.
Funny, I don’t feel particularly sweet today. And I’m covered in grime. I wonder if Mom ever made allowances for beach clean-up day? Since I’m not clean, do I have to be sweet? Because I sure don’t feel it. But I can fake it.
I turn to Cole, forcing a smile to my lips. “What do you think we should talk about, Cole?”
“Well… I should apologize for this weekend. I was out of line.” He looks straight ahead. “I kissed you. You didn’t ask me to. I just… couldn’t help myself. I want us to have a good working relationship, you know?”
I give him a little side eye. He deserves a little ribbing.
“And yet you keep kissing me. Why do you think that is?”
He drums his fingertips on the steering wheel. “I don’t know. I can’t seem to stop myself. It’s embarrassing, frankly. I think it’s a physical need. Not… not anything emotional or complex.”
Cole’s words bruise me. He’s really going to downplay this by blaming his body? I can’t even process that. I’m over here, wanting Cole to want me back. And he’s just downplaying and dismissing our make out by blaming his hormones?
Yuck.
I huff. “So you were just kissing me because you were horny? That isn’t very flattering.”
“Sorry. I shouldn’t….” He tightens his hands on the wheel, and shakes his head. “I’m just saying, I will do better. I’ll behave like a gentleman. Not some oversexed teenager. I swear.”
He bangs the wheel for emphasis, startling me.
“It’s not completely your fault. I kissed you back. I might have been… flirtatious. Not because you’re you. Just because I’m a flirt by nature.” Is that true? I don’t know, but it seems like the thing to say. “I’m just saying that it isn’t personal. Like you said.”
“So I’m just a warm body to you? Is that what you’re saying?”
“No! You’re a beautiful girl who is nice to me. And I’m being weak. That’s the root cause of all of this. It’s my fault, like I said.”
“That’s a cop out and you know it.”
“You’re making this harder than it needs to be.” Cole licks his top lip.
I smile, but it feels as fake as a three-dollar bill. “Let’s just iron this out, then. There will be no more kissing. There will be no longing glances. And no hand holding.”
“Exactly! I think we’re on the same page. I mean, it’s not that you’re a bad kisser. I just… I should be focused on my work.”
