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"Chloe, please. There’s got to be some way I can change your mind. I can't bear the thought of losing you all over again. And our baby."
"I'm sorry, Jeremy. This is what I need to do."
"Can I ask you a question?" I ask, sickened at the sound of my own desperate pleading.
"You can, but I don’t guarantee you an answer." Her detached tone is almost cruel now, showing me that she truly cares very little.
"You just referred to us as a mistake. Is that all this means to you?" She only shrugs indifferently. "Chloe? We didn’t mean anything? I didn’t mean anything to you?"
"We were just a one-night stand that lasted too long. What more could it have meant?" Maybe it’s my imagination, but she almost seems to be trying to convince herself as much as she is me.
With that, she stands up and leaves.
As she walks away, leaving me sitting there, the ache in my chest intensifies. The world continues to spin, indifferent to the pain that gnaws at my soul.
"Can we talk for a moment?"I ask Ella as she descends the steps, but she ignores me like she has been doing since her party.
Her silence is eating at me. She’s never been this way, no matter how badly I treated or ignored her in the past.
"Ella, please, just hear me out."
She continues walking, seemingly indifferent to my plea, but I follow her and press on.
"I need you to understand, to know why I've been the way I am. I wasn't always a good father, and I want you to know why." She continues like she can’t hear me. "My parents left me in an orphanage when I was born."
She pauses but doesn't turn around, so I take a deep breath and approach her.
"When I was a kid, my parents abandoned me. I grew up in foster homes, never knowing what a real family felt like. It made me afraid to get close to people."
Still with her back to me, there’s a flicker of surprise in her stance. Slowly, she turns to face me, her eyes searching mine.
"I couldn’t believe that my parents just left me, so I went in search of them. I wanted them to be proud of me if they were still alive. I studied hard and made a name for myself, then I searched for them." I stop, unable to speak for a moment as that day's event spirals before me, and then I’m back at my parents’ doorstep.
"What happened?" Ella asks cautiously.
"My parents openly told me that they never wanted me and that I was a mistake. They wouldn’t even talk for a little while, just tell me a little bit about them or anything. They rejected me for the second time." Ella gasps, covering her mouth with her hands.
"Oh my god…"
"I didn’t take that rejection well. It messed with my mind and my self-confidence."
"That was so cruel!" she whispers, her face clouding with sadness.
"After that, I was so scared of being abandoned again. I pushed people away, building a defensive wall around myself like some kind of emotional Neanderthal. I didn't want to letanyone get too close because I was afraid they'd leave, just like my parents did." I look down, the shame I felt that day welling up inside me again. I cough to clear my throat. When I look back at Ella, there are fresh tears in her eyes. "So, when you came to my doorstep five years ago, I was terrified. I had told myself that I didn’t ever want to father a child, but then you came into my life. I didn’t know what to do other than keep you at arm's length while still not letting you go."
"I’m sorry, Dad. I… I guess I didn’t know how difficult this has been."
"No, I'm sorry Ella, for being a terrible father to you. I was scared. But I see now how much I've hurt you. I can't change the past, but I want to do better. I want to be the father you deserve. And I can be the father you should have had to another child I created. So, I understand if you need time, but I'm here now, and I want to make things right. And that includes with Chloe. She wants to terminate the pregnancy now because we’ve hurt you so badly. But I can’t let her do that, I just can’t."
She looks like she’s struggling with her thoughts, warring with whatever it is she’s feeling. Suddenly, she comes forward and falls into my arms. Ella embraces me as tears stream down her face. For the first time since losing Chloe, I feel a little bit lighter.
"But what happened with Chloe?" Ella asks after several minutes have gone by. She peeks up at me with her tear-stained face.
"Chloe and I met in New Jersey. At that time, I didn’t know that she was your friend." She looks shocked.
"New Jersey? What were you doing in–" Ella stops, throwing her hands in front of her open mouth as the realization hits her. "No, Dad. Don’t tell me you were her–"
"One night-stand? Yeah. I was. I didn’t know you knew about that."
