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“No,” she whispered, staring into the steaming black abyss of the coffee. Why couldn’t she let go of the darkness that stained her heart? Why couldn’t she be happy with what she had? Why couldn’t she reflect upon her blessings, which she had many, instead of her misfortunes? She shook her head. “I’m trying to let go, Anwar. Really I am. It’s the injustice.”
“I know,” he said softly, watching her with patient silence as she picked at the dates.
“Few things are harder to bear than being scapegoated by your family. Blamed for the wrongdoings, mistakes, and faults of others. Assaulted by hostility by those who are meant to show you love. Instead, the scapegoat is symbolically slaughtered so the community can atone for their sins."
His brow furrowed.“Please help me understand.”
“Let me give you an example. A woman who has fought with her boyfriend may kick her dog for minor misbehavior when she comes home. The dog becomes the scapegoat and pays the price for her earlier fight with her boyfriend."
"Kicks her dog! That's abuse."
"How about this for an appalling example? It’s fictional, of course. To protect his family's honor, a rich, self-entitled fool who realizes he’s been defrauded in a sophisticated art scandal, instead of taking responsibility for not listening to warnings from the family's trusted art advisor, blames her for his mistake. She becomes the scapegoat. She's expected to allow him to escape from his stupidity, remain blameless, and avoid paying the price. The fool feels better about himself and slaughters the innocent art advisor's reputation and career. Then they gaslight her and tell her there’s nothing to worry about. She should just let go, forget about it. Leave it in the past."
“Gaslight?”
“Honestly, Anwar,” Lucy said, rolling her eyes. “Gaslighting is a form of psychological manipulation where someone deliberately tries to make another person doubt their perception, memory, or sanity. The gaslighter uses tactics such as denying facts, twisting the truth, manipulating situations, and questioning the victim's reality, making them feel confused, insecure, and self-doubting. The goal of gaslighting is to gain power and control over the victim by making them question their judgment and rely on the gaslighter's version of events. It is a harmful and manipulative behavior that can have significant emotional and psychological effects on the victim.”
“And who is the victim?”
“I am the victim.I will always be the victim as long as Hamad gets away with what he did. Whether I like it or not. Something, or someone, has to change—and it’s not me!”
CHAPTERTHIRTY-THREE
That evening, Hamad entered Lucy’s studio nervously, clutching a bouquet of orchids.
“Hamad!”
Hamad sucked a deep breath. “Lucy, I owe you an apology. A sincere and humble apology.”
“Has Anwar spoken to you?” she asked regarding him warily.
Hamad shook his head. “No, why?”
“Nothing.” Her brows crested as she tried to work out the puzzle of why Hamad had entered the confessional of her studio after all this time.
“It's about the accusation I made against you, accusing you of art fraud. I want you to know that it was all a lie, a fabrication born from my jealousy and insecurity.”
Lucy’s mouth gaped open.“Jealousy?Insecurity? I don't understand.”
Hamad lowered his eyes and studied the maze of rainbow-colored blogs of paint splattered on the studio floor. “Lucy, I have watched you and Anwar since you first met. The love and joy you found in each other’s company was evident and consumed me with envy. I wanted what Anwar had, and I couldn’t find it. Believe me, I tried,” he gave a feeble laugh, then drew his body erect and looked into her eyes.
Where normally Hamad looked haughty and arrogant, she now saw vulnerability and remorse. What had come over him to make such a dramatic change? By speaking aloud, her intention that she would no longer be scapegoated, had she awoken some inexplicable change. She warned herself to stay alert to manipulation. How could she be sure of his true motive? He’d lied over and over and over—why not again?
“I couldn't bear to see the bond you both shared, and it clouded my judgment.”
Her breath caught in her throat. This was not the confession she had expected. “You mean to say that you accused me of art fraud because of your jealousy towards Anwar? You caused me all that hurt and painbecause you were envious.”
“Yes, Lucy, that's the shameful truth. I was afraid of losing Anwar’s love and affection. I convinced myself that by tarnishing your reputation, I could somehow protect what was mine.”
Wow, she thought. Just wow.Hamad was pouring his heart out to her, and deep in her gut, she knew his remorse was genuine.
“I have come to realize the immense damage I have caused, not only to you but to our entire family as well.”
Tears welled in Lucy’s eyes as the hurt and hardship his actions had caused rose in her consciousness. “You caused me such heartbreak, Hamad,” she whispered. “But why are you confessing? Why now?”
“I’ve met someone,” he mumbled.
“You’ve met someone! And that’s why you want my forgiveness?” Had she been too quick to default to her old ways and believe the best in others? Was it his selfish agenda that now caused him to confess?
