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I can’t find the silver lining here. It all sucks. And I don’t know how to change it.
“Do you mind if I join you?”
I look up to see Octavia Pax in a long white dress that shivers in the wind. I hadn’t even heard her approach, perhaps because my thoughts were too loud.
I nod.
Even when Octavia sits, she is ethereal. I’m slouching over my knees, and she sits upright like a queen.
“Is Apollo okay?” I ask.
She chuckles. “He’s faced worse. Believe me.”
“I should probably apologise.”
She raises one eyebrow. “Perhaps a conversation should be had. There may be apologies to be made on both sides. I am sorry he was hard on you. I don’t always agree with Apollo’s teaching methods, but he is good at what he does.”
“Is there any word on Nathan? Or the… the vampires?”
She regards me with slightly narrowed eyes, and I suspect she is weighing me up, trying to decide if I’m keeping secrets. I remember how she sensed Jenny’s emotions as she was taken from the room. I wonder if Octavia can read me now.
“No,” she says. “Not yet. As for the vampires…” She sighs. “Iwas hoping you could tell me more about that, Kira.”
I turn to her, all the blood draining from my face. It’s clear that she knows I was involved, and I can hardly stand it. I remember what Laila said about the students being banished from the college for actively trying to harm the school.That could be me.I’d either have to live alone somewhere close or die trying to get away. I picture myself sleeping rough on the rocks, trying to stay alive.
“I know you’re afraid,” she adds. “But I want to help you.”
My chin begins to tremble. “Do you mean that?”
She shuffles closer. “Of course I do! Kira, sweet girl, you are so lost. I can feel your pain. Your loneliness. If you talk to me, you won’t be alone any longer.”
I wipe away tears. “It… it was an accident. No one explained to me that my blood could break a century-old curse. I swear I didn’t know.”
She shushes me, then she leans over to stroke my hair. “I know, child.”
“But I didn’t let them out. I didn’t bring down the ward. I don’t know how.”
She pulls my head onto her shoulder and lets me cry. “I know.” Her hand is firm against my shoulder. Almost too firm, like she’s holding me to her body, keeping me there. She pulls in a deep breath and lets it out slowly. It sounds like one of her cleansing breaths during meditation. “Because it was me.”
Before I can process that, she continues, “I needed your blood, so I took it from your blood-ritual class and resurrected Lavinia and Anastasia. And I brought the wards down.”
Forty-Eight
I tryto pull myself away from Octavia, but she holds on tight, still stroking my hair, which now feels like a monstrous imitation of sympathy.
Shock ripples through my body, and I shudder like a house caught in a hurricane. “Wh-what? I don’t understand.”
“I’m an empath.” Octavia stretches out her legs as though the mere mention of it makes her tired. “My affinity is with spirit, and I feel everyone’s pain. All the time. Especially at this school. All of these children who feel so alone and so misunderstood. Dear Lord, spare me from teenage hormones. Thedramaof it all.”
She’s squeezing my head now, and it begins to hurt, like my skull is trapped in a vice.
“Do you know that the empaths have no royals?” She sighs. “As the headmistress, I have some power and a seat on the council, but I’ll never be a royal. Oh no. There’s no title for us, despite everything we go through. No castle. Nothing.”
“I’m sorry,” I mumble, tactically choosing not to point out how spoiled and entitled she sounds.
Her nails dig into my scalp, leaving me acutely aware of her power. She has an advantage over me in every way, and now I know she’s a killer. My survival instinct kicks in.Maybe if I sympathise with her, I can buy some time.
“For a while, perhaps about a decade, I thought about ending it all. And then I changed my mind.” She laughs. “Why should I have to kill myself to stop experiencing everyone else’s pain?”
