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It was the same feeling that I’d had when my dad died, only now it was worse. I felt Brett’s absence like an ache that wouldn’t go away.
Everything reminded me of him.
Even when I thought that I had managed to push him out of my head for a moment, he came back. He was always there, even though he wasn’t. I missed him when the rogues picked me up from class and I missed the way his dark eyes bored into me from across the classroom.
He’d been there for years—ever since I was young—and him not being there now? It wasn’t right.
Even though I was physically at school, I wasn’t mentally prepared for what it would be like to be around other students.
They used to call me whore and slut. Those I could take. They hurt at first, but then started to bounce right off of me the more I realized that it didn’t matter what they said. I had my rogues, they had me, and what the other students called me couldn’t get under my skin.
But after the accident, they decided to shake it all up a little bit.
“Murderer.” The name was thrown at me on Wednesday. Most everyone had avoided me earlier in the week, but it quickly became obvious that they were only working on their bravery.
My head whipped up at the words. I knew that they were talking to me, but nobody was looking at me. Disconcerted, I looked back down at my math problem, but the numbers and letters swirled before my eyes. I couldn’t make out what it was saying or asking.
The name kept running through my head.
Murderer.
But I wasn’t. I knew that I wasn’t. Not only would I never do anything to hurt Brett, but he was alive. I kept telling myself, kept whispering it to myself to remind myself that he was okay, even though everyone around me was telling me the opposite. I didn’t want to believe them.
I couldn’t believe them.
After class, I ignored Kaleb and stumbled out into the hall. Jackie would be waiting for me at Spanish, but I was in no rush to get there. I had to breathe, and I ran the other way, away from classes, ducking and darting through the mass of students. Kaleb was behind me, and I knew that.
He wouldn’t want me to run away from him.
That’s probably exactly why I did what I did.
Darting down the hall, I slammed into the double doors to the outside, throwing myself through them and into the fresh air. It filled my lungs and I took gasping breath after gasping breath, bending over and sucking in the cool air.
Slowly, my head cleared, but I didn’t stand up. I knew that if I moved too quickly that I would pass out. When I heard the door open and close behind me, I closed my eyes, happy to know that Kaleb had found me.
Even though I had run from him just now, I didn’t want to escape him. I needed him to come after me and make sure that I was safe.
I was still smiling when I stood up and turned around, but it wasn’t Kaleb standing behind me.
Amelia had a sick grin on her face. “If it isn’t Taylor Prep’s little murderer. Man, it’s good to see you, Rose. Kaleb and my cousin have made it almost impossible to get close to you recently, but we really just wanted to come out and see how you were doing. I mean, you’ve killed two people now, right? Or are there more that we just don’t know about?”
Sara and Kelly flanked her, each with matching grins. They looked thrilled to have caught me outside on my own and I knew, right then, that I was screwed.
“I didn’t kill Brett.” The words tasted like dust when I spoke.
Amelia laughed, throwing back her head and tossing her hair so that it fell down over her shoulder. “But you didn’t say anything about not killing your dear old dad, did you? We all know that you did that and can finally admit it, so it may just take you a while to admit that you killed Brett, too. Tell me, did you see the car coming before it hit you? Or were you not paying attention?”
Whenever I closed my eyes, I saw the car coming up behind us. I knew, as soon as I’d seen it on the road, that it wasn’t going to stop, but there was no way I was going to tell the harpies that.
“I didn’t see it.”
“But it hit you from the side, right? How did you not see it coming?”
I shook my head, swallowing hard. “It came from behind us.”
“Liar.” Kelly stepped forward, her eyes flashing. “You lying slut murderer. We all know that you saw it, but nobody knows why you got to be the one who walked away and Brett is the one dead and cold in the ground.”
A sob threatened to escape me, but I bit my lip, trying hard to maintain control. I couldn’t let them know that they were getting to me. Each time I got in bed by myself I imagined what it would be like for me to be in the ground, not Brett. Not my dad.
