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Dropping the picture to my desk like it was burning me, I unfolded the slip of paper. It was incredibly thin, like tissue paper, and the writing on it almost tore through it. A familiar scent hit me in the face as I opened the note.
My god, it smelled just like Brett.
The smell was light, like it had almost completely worn off, but it was obviously his cologne. No matter how someone had gotten their hands on it, they’d managed to spritz a bit of it on the paper.
It was fucked up.
Already shaken from the photograph, I turned the paper over to read the writing.
I’m alive.
“What the hell?” I muttered to myself, turning the paper back over. There wasn’t anything on the back. I felt myself growing hot and panicked and I read the words again, this time tracing them with my finger.
I’d seen Brett’s handwriting enough to know that it was his.
But that didn’t make any sense.
We were told that he was dead.
We’d had a funeral.
Hell, even though I knew that he wasn’t dead, I was starting to wonder if I were wrong. If maybe he really had died in the accident.
They’d told me that I’d been in shock. That I could barely remember my own name.
If that was true, then it makes sense that I wouldn’t be able to remember whether or not he really was alive.
That I’d try to convince myself and everyone else that he was really alive.
They called it survivor’s guilt.
I knew all that.
But even more than what I knew to logically be true, I knew what I was holding in my hands.
Brett was alive. He had to be.
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“Do you think that if we refuse to get out of bed today that we can all pretend that we don’t have classes in the morning?” I was stretched out in the middle of Jackie and Kaleb, the three of us eating a late brunch in my bed, ignoring the way time kept passing.
Each second that ticked by meant that I was that much closer to having to be separated from my rogues. Already it was hard enough with not having Brett, and I wasn’t interested in leaving Jackie or Kaleb.
Kaleb yawned and leaned over to kiss my forehead before grabbing a slice of apple off of the tray I had on my lap. “I think that it’s worth a shot, but I’m not sure that it’s going to work. This break has been amazing, though, I will say that.”
We all fell silent then, and I knew what they were thinking, because I was thinking it, too. This break had been amazing except for the fact that we all missed Brett terribly. Him being around would have been the one thing to make our break even more incredible.
I knew that the last thing Brett would want would be for the three of us to mourn him so much that we couldn’t get on with our lives, but it was almost impossible for me. Everything we did—from snuggling in bed watching movies, to taking long walks in the woods—had a shadow case over it.
None of us could help it. We all missed Brett terribly and there wasn’t anything that we could do to bring him back. The forehead kisses from Kaleb were as much physical affection that I’d had from the boys since the funeral.
I wanted them, and I knew that they wanted me, but…it just felt wrong.
“Did you guys see your schedules? They were put on our doors sometime last night, and we need to make sure that we have classes together.” Jackie had never been a huge planner, but I had a pretty good feeling that I knew why he was suddenly so concerned about making sure that we all got as much facetime as possible during the last semester.
They didn’t want to leave me to be on my own against Amelia and the harpies.
“I did.” Leaning over, I grabbed it off of my bedside table and handed it to him. He scanned it quickly, then handed it to Kaleb.
