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“Hey, I was calling you to wait up,” he says, his tone urgent, and he’s breathing heavily.
But I’m not ready to hear any excuses or deal with why this hurts so much. I shouldn’t care—not now or ever—but I’m burning up from anger, from jealousy, from embarrassment. It feels as though everyone around us has paused to stare at the train wreck—us.
The image of him with Julie is burned into my mind, and it stings so hard, my eyes are tearing up. For a moment, just a fleeting moment, I thought it might have been something more, but I’d been an idiot. Of course, he’s not really interested in me. Right now, I need space to breathe, to think, away from Jake and his stare. Heart pounding in my chest, I wrench my hand from his.
“I’m not interested,” I manage to say.
Mr. Hill, a lecturer, appears from around the corner and approaches Jake.
“We need to talk, Jake,” he insists.
Jake tries to brush him off, his gaze on me, imploring me to talk to him… but the way he stares at me feels like a lie. Like he’s promised me something all these times together, which were fabricated lies, and I fell for them.
The problem is me; I know this. We had nothing real, so why am I overreacting?
The moment he turns to Mr. Hill, I seize the split-second to slip away. I run out of the building, my heart racing, angry tears blurring my vision. I hate that I feel anything for him. People are around, but I can’t stand their presence. I’m on fire, my mind screaming that it’s not real, even though seeing him with Julie has ignited something painful within me.
“Jake means nothing to me. He’s just helping me,” I remind myself, but the reassurance sounds empty. My throat is tight, and the betrayal feels all too real. All I can picture is him kissing me, whispering in my ear, fucking me.
I’m so, so stupid!
Suddenly, Tyler, the quarterback football star, approaches me. “That’s gotta sting hard,” he says in a way that I can’t tell if he’s being an asshole or genuine.
“Fuck off,” I snap. “I don’t need your pity.” I storm past him, but he strolls alongside me. This huge guy who towers over me. What the hell does he want, anyway?
“Seriously, I feel your pain, Emily. Seeing my ex with that jerk. And to see him do that to you in public…”
His words fan the flames of my fury, and my fist tightens over the strap of my bag.
“I need time to process this,” I hiss, but Tyler doesn’t relent.
“Look, I’ve always liked you,” he confesses, catching me off guard.
“You did?” I ask, genuinely surprised. I never thought he noticed me before.
“You don’t take other people’s crap, and it’s refreshing. But if you want to show him what it feels like, wanna go with me to a party tonight? I hear he might be attending with his new girlfriend.”
Tyler’s words are daggers in my chest, but also a tempting chance for revenge.
“Is that at Macy’s place?” I ask, thinking of the party Sarah mentioned.
“Yeah, that’s it. No commitment or anything but happy to be there for you. So, what do you say?” Tyler looks at me expectantly, his poster-boy good looks shining under the sunlight.
The idea of making Jake suffer, even for a bit, is appealing. “I-I’ll consider it,” I say softly, unsure how I’m feeling.
Tyler’s smile is bright. “Good, I’ll pick you up tonight?”
“Oh, that’s okay. I’ll meet you there. I’m going with a friend,” I reply, needing to maintain some control over the situation. To get my head together.
His hand brushes my arm, a friendly gesture, but it doesn’t affect me the way Jake’s touch does. The realization fuels my anger further. I need to confront Jake and ask him outright about Julie to know if this is real and basically call whatever the hell is between us off.
My gut hurts again.
Tyler strolls away, running a hand through his blonde locks, while several girls he passes swoon over the guy.
My phone rings, vibrating in my pocket, and I grab it. It’s Jake. I hesitate, and my gut’s squeezing harder now with the ache he’s caused.
The urge to answer and confront him has me freezing, but in the end, I end up pushing the phone back into my pocket, deciding to let him stew a bit longer. Right now, I need to focus, to remind myself of what’s real and what isn’t, then head to my next class, even if I’m early.
