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I’m trying not to freak out about that. It’s invasive and a bit frightening. Sure, the money is good, and the bonus is insanely awesome, but at what cost?
My sanity?
My life?
Unease sours the coffee in my gut. Getting inside of Jude’s head to help him will be an incredible challenge. I have to make sure I don’t lose a part of myself in the process or, worse yet, get caught up romantically with the troubled man.
He was staring at my body. I didn’t imagine the interest and low burn of desire in his gaze. If I said I didn’t find him attractive, that would be a lie. Despite having no idea what he looks like, his intensity calls to the baser parts of me. And his body? It’s hot as fuck.
Focus, man.
I shove up the arms of my hoodie sleeves past my elbows in an effort to cool myself off. I’m flushed from my hot bath and even hotter encounter with Jude. I need to get out of this room and away from this buzzing between us.
“Lead the way,” I croak out. “If any ghosts come at me, though, you better save me.”
“Nothing will get to you here,” Jude says with a confident grunt.
No ghosts of my past? I’m in.
I force a smile and then we leave the room. He walks us to the end of the hall where green lights glow. When I get a peek inside, my eyeballs nearly fall out of my head.
“Holy crap? Did we just enter the Matrix?”
Jude cocks his head to the side as he considers my words. It’s really eerie when he does that. I suppress a shiver. “It’s my office.”
“Obviously.” I push past him into the room and admire the many, many monitors. Are there eight of them? “Wow.”
“It’s just where I work. Nothing special.”
I don’t think anyone in the Pentagon has anything this intense set up. It’s more than special. It’s impressive. “What do you do for work?”
He grunts. “I take care of my family.”
“Vague much?”
He shrugs, avoiding eye contact. “Everything I do comes back to that. Whether it’s keeping them safe from people who want to harm them or making money in whatever ways I can, I do it. Nothing else to say about it.”
His answer is frustrating, but at least it’s an answer. He’s actually talking to me and not acting like he wants to body-slam me to the ground. This is progress. I’m makingheadway.
Once I’ve seen my fill, he leads me back down the hallway, pointing out other bedrooms. His room is at the end of the hallway, but he doesn’t bother opening the door to show me, much to my disappointment.
So far, I’ve seen a whole lot of nothing.
“Let’s go downstairs.” He leads the way, charging down the steps like his ass is on fire.
From my vantage point, above him for once, I can see mottled scarring on the back of his neck. It makes me wonder if that same scarring is what’s on his face. How could it be so bad that he would want to hide from everyone?
They’re just scars.
Lots of people have them on the outside.
Most of us have them on the inside.
They tell our story whether we like it or not.
Jude shows me the kitchen next. Violet is already in there, chopping away at a myriad of colorful vegetables. When she sees me, she gives me a conspiratorial wink. I respond back with a small wave and a crushing weight of guilt.
She’s waiting for me to fix him and I’ve been lowkey salivating over his muscular body.
