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My gaze shifts back to Ilya, his innocent eyes filled with questions I'm not sure how to answer. Something deep in my gut stirs, a sense of urgency I can't ignore. We're running out of time, and every moment counts.
My hand instinctively moves to my stomach, resting there for a moment. I instinctively know what’s going on with me, but I just can’t quite pull it to the forefront just yet.
I'm awash with conflicting emotions. On one hand, the prospect fills me with a joy I can't quite articulate. I love Ilya more than life itself; there's no question I could love another child just as fiercely. But this also means complications I can't afford right now, ones that could put lives at risk.
And the child would be Roman's.
I swallow hard, imagining his reaction. Would he be elated, terrified? Would he even want to be involved? Hell, we haven't even defined what 'we' are yet, and now this.
It's not exactly safe for me to go out and confirm this with a pregnancy test. Vladimir's men are scouring the city for me, and stepping outside would be a risk for both me and anyone associated with me.
My eyes find Ilya again, happily playing with some toy cars on the floor, blissfully unaware of the storm brewing around us. The thought of him being a big brother brings a small smile to my face, but it fades just as quickly. He's already been through so much. Would adding a sibling to our already complicated life be fair to him? To me? To Roman?
I exhale deeply, the magnitude of the situation sinking in. This isn't just about me anymore; it's about the life that might be growing inside me, about Ilya, about Roman, and the tenuous future we're all staring down.
Nikita is quietly watching me, perhaps picking up on the turbulence swirling within me. "Is everything alright?" she asks, her voice cautious but sincere.
"Complicated," I reply, standing up and pacing a bit. "It's all...very complicated."
She nods, her eyes filled with a knowing wisdom. "Life rarely hands us simple cards, does it?"
"No," I agree, contemplating the multiple layers of complications I'm entangled in. "It doesn't."
With this new potential revelation about a pregnancy, the stakes are even higher, the dangers even more frightening. And yet, somewhere in this twisted mess, there's also the possibility of something beautiful.
I don't know how all these puzzle pieces will fit together, but what I do know is this: I'm going to have to deal with this head-on. And the first step is finding Roman. Because whether I'm ready or not, our lives are now more entangled than ever. And it's time to figure out what that really means for all of us.
I turn to Nikita, who's been silently observing me, her eyes subtly evaluating. "Does the hotel staff run errands for guests?" I ask, my tone casual even though my heart is racing.
"Of course," Nikita says, a small smile playing on her lips. "Roman bought the place. They'll pretty much jump if we tell them to."
Talk about convenient.
I grab my phone from the coffee table and dial the hotel's front desk. A courteous voice answers, "Good afternoon, this is the front desk. How may I assist you?"
"I need a pregnancy test," I say flatly, cutting straight to the point. "Discreetly. As soon as possible."
"Of course, ma'am," the voice responds, without a hint of surprise or judgment. "It will be delivered to your suite momentarily."
I hang up and sit back, staring at my phone like it holds the answers to the universe. Except the answer I really need is wrapped in a small plastic package that's about to arrive and either confirm or dispel my burgeoning suspicion.
My eyes drift back to Ilya, his laughter filling the room as he plays. He seems so happy, so unburdened, a small island of innocence in a sea of complications. My heart aches at the thought of his life being upended once more, this time by a revelation that could either tear us apart or bind us together more closely than ever before.
I pass the next half-hour with my boy, savoring these few precious minutes of peace.
Nikita watches me closely, her gaze unreadable. "Is there anything you'd like to talk about? Sometimes it helps," she offers.
I consider her words for a moment. There's a lot to say, yet nothing to say until that small stick dictates the path of my immediate future.
"Thank you, Nikita. But for now, I'd prefer to wait," I say, my words punctuated by a soft knock on the door.
Nikita moves to answer it, and after a brief exchange, returns holding a small bag. She hands it to me without a word, our eyes locking for a moment. I take the bag from her, my hands surprisingly steady.
"I'll be back," I say quietly, heading to one of the many lavish bathrooms this penthouse suite has to offer.
As I close the door behind me, my fingers wrap around the small box in the bag. I pull it out and stare at it for what feels like an eternity, taking a deep breath to steady myself.
It's just a small piece of plastic, yet it holds the power to change everything.
