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I gave her a practiced smile and talked about colleges I was applying to. That was what I’d learned friends of my parents wanted to hear about when they asked that question. My promising future and all that crap.
When the conversation was over, we headed toward the car. There were lots of people in the parking lot, so she waited until we were in the car to lay into me.
“I cannotbelieveyou,” she snapped, a vein appearing on her forehead. “Blatantly staring at that magazine in front of Janet. What is wrong with you?”
“I was just looking at the display to pass the time,” I said, hating how meek my voice sounded. My mom was the only one that could bring out this side of me.
“Sin mesmerized you. You better hope that no one besides me noticed. I mean, what would people think?”
That was my mom’s favorite line. She was always so concerned about what people thought. Once again, I tried to ignore her as I stared out the window, but my arm still ached where she’d pinched me.
She dropped the subject when we got home, and I wasn’t alone with her for the rest of the evening, so I didn’t have to worry about any more of her harping. I pushed the whole grocery store trip out of my mind until later that night. Everyone else was asleep when I allowed myself to think about the magazine cover again.
The whole image was enticing, but I couldn’t help focusing on the man’s hand on the woman’s neck. It wasn’t relaxed, just a pose for the camera. I could see the flex of the muscle in the man’s arm, how his fingers curled around the sides.
Laying on my back, I brought my hand to my throat, giving it a squeeze as I remembered the heated look in that man’s eyes. It was so erotic, and I could sense the promise in his gaze. Pleasure and pain. He would dominate.
The idea of that made wetness gather between my legs. I tightened my grip around my neck as my other hand went into my panties. I had pleasured my self this way last week. As much as I enjoyed riding the pillow, there was something more enjoyable about lying on my back with my fingers on my clit. It made it easier for me to imagine being helpless and at the mercy of a man.
It was my favorite fantasy.
Now, adding the choking element to it sent an electric thrill through shooting through my veins. My fingers found my clit, pressing and rubbing against the sensitive nub. I gasped, my hand tightening on my throat. Just how I imagined a man doing it. I liked the idea of that, a man hovering over me, demanding that I stay quiet and cutting off my air supply if I didn’t comply.
My fingers on my clit felt so good, but my core clenched with need. I wanted something inside of me, so I slipped my fingers lower, plunging them into my pussy. I bit my lip, struggling to draw a deep breath with my tight grip on my throat.
Pleasure spread from my center all throughout my body, and I trembled.
Two fingers pumped in and out, and I mashed my palm against my clit. My nipples got hard, and I wished so much that someone was with me, tweaking and licking them.
I’d never experienced such a thing, but that didn’t stop my imagination from running wild. A shiver ran down my spine, and I couldn’t hold back a low moan as a climax ripped through me, making my back bow off the bed as I tightened my hand so much that I couldn’t breathe at all for several long seconds. Just when I couldn’t take it any longer, I loosened my grip, getting light-headed as I pulled in a sharp breath. It all just heightened the bliss of the moment, and by the time I came back down to earth, my heart was pounding so hard that I was afraid it might jump right out of my chest. I relaxed back into the mattress, halfway hoping that my grip on my neck was strong enough to leave bruises.
I knew that was a foolish hope. My mother would lose her mind, but I couldn’t deny the flutter in my belly at the idea of it.
If only my parents knew I wasn’t such a good girl, after all.
Chapter3
Sienna
The next day, I left school just after lunch with a smile on my face as I drove out of the parking lot with my window rolled down, letting in the fresh air. Sunshine warmed one side of my face, and I played Christian rock through the sound system.
I was in a great mood because I hadn’t even realized that today was a teacher in-service day, meaning that all the classes at the high school were cancelled for the afternoon and teachers were taking part in meetings or training.
I was sure that it sucked for them, but I was just happy to be free of the stuffy classrooms. The closer I got to graduation, the more eager I was to be done with school, at least until I started at the community college in the fall.
But that was going to be a completely different experience. I hoped I’d have the opportunity to break out of my shell a little in college, to explore what it meant to be an individual instead of just living life how my parents wanted.
Maybe I’d even summon the courage to stand up to her once I’d gotten a taste of the real world.
I arrived home in the early afternoon, sure that the house would be empty. My mother had a meeting with the board of a charity for homeless youth, of which she was a member, and my dad should have been at the church, working on his sermon for tonight. Every Wednesday night, there was a short service, about half as long as the one on Sundays, with a focus on prayer and reflection.
They always expected me to attend, along with my brother Adam, but our mother always had her bible study group that night. I always thought it was unfair of her to skip out on the mid-week service to have dinner with her girlfriends, but she shut down my complaints a long time ago, pointing out that she had a much stronger connection to the Lord than I did, so she didn’t need the Wednesday night service to be spiritually enlightened. She was also quick to add that she was helping the other women understand the readings of the bible, so she was doing the Lord’s work, anyway.
Adam was probably in class, so I figured I was home alone. I headed to the kitchen first, grabbing a bottle of water before going upstairs to my room. I was halfway down the hall when I heard a sound.
I paused, tilting my head to the side in confusion. It sounded like a deep groan or something similar, definitely a man’s voice.
My father? Adam?
