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He frowned, but did as he was told, settling into the chair. She reached for the carafe, filled a mug, and brought it over, setting it down in front of him. But he found he couldn’t drink it. An icy fist punched him in the gut as he looked up at her. He stood up so fast he nearly knocked his chair over. She took a startled step back but he caught her arm. His other hand cupped her jaw and he ran a tentative thumb over her swollen lip.
“Please,” he murmured. “Please tell me I didn’t-”
“It was an accident,” she assured him. “You didn’t mean it.”
“I hit you?” His voice sounded disconnected and far away to his own ears.
She shook her head. “No. It was an accident. It wasn’t-”
“I hit you?!” But he didn’t wait for an answer because the wave that had been threatening to overtake him, finally washed over him, and he staggered down the hall. He only made it as far as the guest bathroom before he slammed the lid open and retched into the bowl. On or about the third hurl, he heard Hayley come in, run some water, then felt a cool pressure against the back of his neck. He jerked in surprise but then relaxed.
Hayley knelt down next to him on the floor, holding the cloth to his neck. When he could move away from the bowl, he sat down beside her. She brushed the cloth over his forehead and down the side of his face. “Everything’s fine,” she told him.
In the deafening silence he said, “I’ve never hit a woman before. Ever.”
“Well, you still haven’t,” she told him, moving the cloth to his other cheek. “It was an accident. I came up behind you. You didn’t even know I was there.”
Chris took hold of her wrist and stared at her. “I could have killed you.”
She shook her head. “Doubtful,” she told him. “You couldn’t even stand up. I’d have gotten away.”
“Hayley-”
“It’s alright. I’m fine. You’re fine. But if you took any of those pills I left for you, you better take some more,” she said, looking pointedly at the toilet bowl.
Chris flushed it and lowered the lid. He looked at her, for the first time, not seeing her lip but her eyes and the dark circles underneath them. “You were here all night,” he guessed.
She nodded, wiping his forehead one more time. “I heard glass breaking and I came to see if you were hurt or needed help. After I put you to bed, I found the mess in the living room and cleaned it up.”
“You did this for me,” he said, taking hold of her wrist again and looking at the cloth. “I remember.”
“My mom always did it for me when I was sick. It helped. I figured it would help you. But you need a real shower to feel better. Go take one and I’ll make you some toast.” Chris didn’t get up, though. He couldn’t seem to make any part of his body do what he wanted. He just stared at Hayley. “Hey,” she admonished. “We’re not thinking about that now. Right now we’re focusing on shower and breakfast. And probably some toothbrushing in the middle there. Later we can talk about how you made it through the Army hitting like a girl.”
That snapped him out himself and he gave a surprised chuckle. Hayley stood up, laid the washcloth over the counter and left him alone. He made it to his own bathroom, stripped out of his freshly laundered pants and day old underwear and stood under the hot spray. He’d hit her, was all he could think about. That and the fact that after he’d hit her, she’d stayed the whole night taking care of him.
When he got out, got redressed, and picked up the pill bottle a second time, he realized she’d left the cap off on purpose because he had put it back on after taking the first dose and was in no mood to fight with the child proof cap, which he was now doing. He finally got the damn thing off, downed a few more pills, vowing to keep them down this time, and set off in his clean socks and jeans to the kitchen.
Hayley served him dry toast and an egg white omelet, with a cup of coffee and a glass of ice water, insisting he drink both. He thanked her profusely then grimaced when he caught sight of the time. “I’m so late,” he muttered.
“Yeah, well, you own the place. It’s allowed once in a while,” she told him. “Finish all of it.”
“Yes, ma’am,” he replied, tucking into the food. He had to admit, the shower and the breakfast went a long way toward making him feel like a new man.
When he was done, he stood and took his dishes to the sink. “Hayley-” he began but she shook her head.
