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“Just…a rougher day than I expected.”
“We can talk later.”
Haldyn nodded. Of all the people in the world, this was the closest friend she had ever had. She and Powell were sisters of the soul. And they always would be. She needed to talk to someone who knew…what the memories had done to Haldyn for so long now.
And she wanted to tell Powell about what had happened with Jarrod, too. Get an outside perspective. Haldyn didn’t just sleep with men. Not like that.
She had come very, very close to sleeping with Jarrod last night.
Well, she had slept with him last night. Curled up around him actually—but she would have had sex with him this morning, too. She had been ready to, in her head, and her heart.
That was significant to her.
If Daniel hadn’t called, she most likely would have. They had been half naked and working on the rest when the phone had rung. She definitely didn’t have spur-of-the-moment, get-almost-fully-naked-with-guys-she-had-fought-with-for-years episodes either. That just wasn’t her, at all.
Zoey was across from them, Murdoch at her side—like he almost always was now—and Zoey’s two youngest half siblings on each side of them. Both children were quiet, but so beautiful. They looked just like their older sisters and brothers. Little Oakley looked like Heather, even more than she resembled Zoey. Right down to those distinctive cheekbones Heather had and Zoey didn’t. It was hard to miss.
The kids called Zoey and Murdoch Mommy and Daddy. Family. They were a family now.
Haldyn had her two sisters, and she had Powell. Madison, Charlotte, Zoey, Daryn and Shelby made up the rest of the only real family she had. And Daniel. She would always have Daniel. She looked for him now. That man had been concerning her lately, too. He wasn’t happy. Not deep down. And it scared her.
Daniel was five seats down, with Jarrod and Gunnar right next to him, and Dom and Jake and Elliot across from them. Shelby sat next to her husband now, her hand resting on Nariska’s back. Jake would look at them both like he couldn’t believe they were real. They were so beautiful together.
Jake was a cop—but she knew he would never hurt Shelby like that. Just like Murdoch would never hurt Zoey. In her head, she fully believed that.
But she would always remember the fear. The powerlessness.
Haldyn couldn’t help but feel a rush of envy at the way Murdoch and Jake were looking at their wives. It had been a long time since she’d trusted a man enough to let him near her that way. That had never been easy for her.
She and Powell had discussed the why of that so many times before. Powell wasn’t much better—but her best friend had different reasons for her own relationship reluctance.
“Sometimes, I just…wish…” Her voice trailed off as Powell leaned closer.
“What?” Powell whispered.
“I wish…I was normal,” Haldyn said quietly. “That I didn’t have so many…hang-ups, Powell. That things like this, like men, were easier.”
“I know. But let’s admit it—here isn’t normal. How can it be? We’re in the home of one of the wealthiest men in America, hiding from unidentified kidnappers. That can’t be called normal by anyone.” That was Powell, always focused on the logical. But it was more than that. Deeper than Haldyn could figure out.
“I think it goes deeper than that. It’s me and people, relationships in general, I think.” And her house was waiting, yes. But there was no one there waiting for her. Now when she thought about her home, it just felt empty.
Maybe that was why she wasn’t pushing harder to go home? Here, she had Powell and other people with her.
Maybe…maybe she was lonelier than she wanted to admit. Even to herself.
“I’ll come to your suite tonight. We’re definitely going to have a talk. I think we may both need that right now.”
Haldyn just nodded. Talking had never been super easy for her. It hadn’t been until almost Christmas break her sophomore year before she’d ever opened up to Powell about her past at all. Powell had wanted to know why Haldyn had no intention of going home for Christmas. Haldyn had had nowhere to go.
So Powell had packed Haldyn a bag and dragged her to the Barratt Ranch instead. To a Barratt family Christmas. It had been completely out of Haldyn’s wheelhouse, and she’d never felt more awkward in her life. Until Powell’s brothers had teamed up to make sure she felt welcome. They were good men—and were down at the end of the table now. Tall, strong, kind, and beautiful.
She was safe here.
She just felt like she didn’t belong tonight. Outside looking in, like she always had.
Feeling inadequate was a leftover from her father’s abuse. Haldyn understood that. At thirty-one years old, she still struggled with it. With what he had done to her and her sisters. With her mother’s neglect and apathy as well.
What had happened with Heather today had brought it all back to the surface.
