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Emma has to be at least twenty, so thinking of her as just a babysitter or teenager would be a mistake. But to Deacon, who has a decade on her, she is young.
“How many classes left to get your degree, Emma?” I walk her to her car, just because I can.
“Just this one.” She beams. “I’ve been working ahead to graduate early. That way I know I’ll have a leg up with the competition.”
I can’t help laughing. Emma Hayes has always been an overachiever. She’d actually been a student at the high school where I did my student-teaching when one of her older brothers died overseas. “How’s Linc handling his baby sister joining the force?”
Emma snorts as she opens her car door. “He’ll get over it. After all, I wouldn’t do it if it weren’t for him and Danny. He wouldn’t let me join the military, so he’ll just have to suffer through me doing things my way.” With that, she is off, and I stare up at Deacon’s silent house.
For about half a second, I contemplate staying up and trying to get some grading done. Then I walk into Deacon’s living room, all thoughts of anything but sleep vanishing into a puff of smoke. Rett, curled in a blanket and using the edge of the couch as a pillow, snores softly. I can’t help it. I pull him into my lap and cuddle that little ball of warmth with all I have, falling asleep with him in my arms.
At least until I hear the front door creak open a little while later. Part of me thinks about waking up and telling Deacon to shut up, but then I hear another set of footsteps, and I decide to sit still.
The last thing I need is to see some half-naked woman that my brother sneaks in for a booty call after his night at the club.
Thankfully, Deacon doesn’t come into the living room, because then I really will have to see them. Instead, he leads his guest through the hall into the kitchen and I let out a deep breath I hadn’t realized I’m holding. I’d almost fallen back asleep again when I hear an achingly familiar voice filter out from the kitchen during a conversation with Deacon.
“Thanks, man.”
Fucking Carter Matthews is in my brother’s house, in the middle of the night. Suddenly I see red, and I want to kill both of them—with my bare hands.
“Okay, now that you’ve got an ice pack for your jaw, tell me why I should give you her number.”
I slide my arm out from under Rett’s neck, disentangling my body from his and the blanket that has ended up wrapped around both of us.
“I fucked up with her,” Carter’s admission stops me in my tracks.
Honestly, I probably look like a crazy person. Standing in the middle of my brother’s hall with my hair messed up and my clothes all askew. I can’t chance making a sound, not when the conversation has just turned interesting.
“I told her she’s a fuck-up, and that she’s putting on a mask for everyone.”
I never, in my entire life, expected to hear Carter baring his soul like that for anyone, let alone my brother. Without a doubt, I know he is talking about me. What are the chances he’d called someone else a fuck-up and then talk to my brother about it?
Deacon’s laughter comes hard and fast through the hall, practically slamming into me. All of a sudden, I find myself pissed off that my big brother doesn’t stand up for me to his friend.
“What do you expect, man? Ever since her accident, she doesn’t even like to be touched. I doubt for a minute you would have the upper hand with her.”
My body goes rigid at his mention of my accident. Instinctively, my hand seeks out the scar on my abdomen, and I realize I haven’t even thought about it in a few days. Since the night I’d walked out on Carter, actually.
Everything I’d lost, everything I had hoped for in my life, and planned for so carefully. It all comes crashing back down onto my shoulders at once.
“You remember that kid she started seeing when we were in school? Will Andrews, right?”
“Yeah.” There is an edge to Carter’s voice, and I’d give almost anything to see his face right then. He sounds jealous, which makes no sense. “The one she called her boyfriend all through elementary school. Way back when. I remember. Fuckin’ douche is what he was.”
Deacon laughs, and I want to hit him. “Yeah, him. Kid still doesn’t know which way is up. Her childhood sweetheart. Well, a while back, they got in an accident, and she hasn’t been the same since. She used to plan, ya know. Hope and dream for her future. But after all that went down, she’s turned into a female version of me. She takes risks she shouldn’t, and I can’t tell you how many times I’ve had to bail her out of trouble before it bites her in the ass.”
One of them slaps their hand down on the counter, scaring the piss out of me, and I almost knock into the wall in my surprise.
“I’ll give you her number,” Deacon says after a few moments of silence. “Maybe you’ll be able to break through to her in a way no one in my family has been able to.”
Hearing Deacon, the man I’ve looked up to for my entire life, sound so helpless and emotional talking about my accident, reminds me that I don’t belong in that hall. That the rules, the ones I’ve followed my entire life, have led me to the reality I find myself in.
Now that he is home, with Rett still fast asleep on the couch, I don’t really need to stay any longer. I don’t need Carter’s pity either. I don’t need to have my brother expose my weaknesses to the one man who has the power to hurt me.
I want to run away again. To go home and curl up in my warm bed and forget about everything in my life, but I don’t. Instead, I curl around Rett and try to fall back asleep. Where only a few minutes before I’d wanted to spy on my brother and get to the bottom of why Carter is there, I find myself exhausted and tired of keeping everyone at bay.
If Deacon wants to give Carter my number, I can’t stop him. But I will make sure to block him as soon as I get the first message.
