AllFreeNovel
Share Us
6
COLE
Casper fucking wrecks me. Her tears are what do it, too. We’ve barely walked into my living room when she breaks down completely. Suddenly, my head is filled with noise, all of it telling me to hold her. To make her tears stop. Everything about her crying is wrong—on every level.
I pull her into my arms and sit down on the couch, giving her as much comfort as I can.
I’ve known my whole life that I’m not a good man. I’m selfish, cocky, and full of myself. I knew that before I met Casper. I’ll know that until the day I die.
And I’m not good enough for her.
Despite that, having her there in my arms makes everything about our situation painfully clear.
I need to see her smile the way I need music or noise to sleep at night. Somehow, the moments I’ve spent with her have embedded themselves under my skin, and I don’t think I’ll ever be able to get rid of her. Even if I try.
With only a little bit more time in the city, I plan on spending as much of it as I can with her.
“I’ve known ever since the moment I saw you in that courthouse that I had to have you,” I whisper against the side of her head. “Even when you wouldn’t look in my direction. I couldn’t take my eyes off you. You’re like a lighthouse in the middle of a storm, demanding my attention.”
She doesn’t answer me, but I honestly don’t expect her to. She’s been through a lot. I’ll just keep talking until she is ready, no matter how long it takes for her to open up.
“I like having you on the other side of my wall. Knowing you’re there, it makes being stuck here better. Easier when I have to deal with the recovery that I’m being forced to deal with. I’m sorry that your sister died, Casper. I didn’t know her at all. Never spent time here after my cousin bought these places, but I’m sure as hell glad that I know you.”
Casper takes a deep breath and exhales, her heartbeat slowly returning to normal, calming me just by its existence.
“I like you being there too.” She’s practically whispering but her words still find a way to wrap around my brain and force me to attention. “Just a knock away. Or a scream.”
I don’t even know how or why, but I know if Casper were to say my name, even as a whisper on the other side of a crowded room, I’d be able to hear her. I’d come running, just like I had earlier. I don’t know why it’s there, why she’s under my skin… but she is. And I know there’s a connection here. Something that I’m not sure I would have believed existed even a few short hours ago.
But I know that with Casper, I’d do anything.
And there’s something in my head telling me that I always will.
“Will you help me forget?” Her words reach down into my heart and refuse to let go. “Just for a little bit. Help me forget the pain?”
How can I say no to that?
Her heart isn’t the only one that’s racing again as I pull away from our embrace. Once I have just enough space between our bodies, I frame my hands around her face and make sure that she’s looking at me. This is how I want her. Not drunk, not hiding behind the weight of her emotions. I want all of her attention, the same way that she has mine. Nothing between us and nothing making it impossible to have her focus.
Only then, when her eyes are open and watching me, waiting for what I’ll do next, do I say anything else.
“Your eyes,” I tell her. “Keep your eyes on me.”
Casper has other plans. She closes the distance between us and presses her lips to mine. She isn’t asking permission; she isn’t hesitant in her kiss either. My hands may be literally cupped around her face, but she controls what is happening between us.
She wraps her arms around my neck and her legs around my waist without ever breaking the kiss. God, her kiss is intoxicating. The small moans, the way her back arches, and the way I feel her tremble are all just small parts of what is driving me crazy.
I don’t know who breaks the kiss first, but I feel the absence of her touch like a knife to the gut. Casper disentangles herself and stands up, breathing heavily.
“Take me to bed.” The smile on her face is expectant, eager even. Except the look in her eyes tells me that she isn’t sure.
Suddenly, even the ache I feel in my gut, the need to have her under me in bed, isn’t enough to stop what I am about to do. I stand up, reaching for her hand.
“Stop.”
I pull her close until her back is pressed against my chest.
“Casper, listen to me. You don’t have to do this, give me this part of you. I’ll be here in the morning. It is my house, after all. Literally nothing will keep me away from you if you stay.” Before she can pull away or think that I’m rejecting her, I put my one hand on her chest and the other on her hip, holding her tight against the proof of my arousal. “I want you,” I whisper roughly.
