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I have to call Cole.
I have to make sure he knows.
He needs to know that I love him.
Someone knocks on the other side of the door, dragging me out of my escape plans and the panic that I’m currently experiencing.
I expect it to be Sori, impatient and wanting an answer. Maybe even my mom, trying to be nosy, or possibly Remy, trying to be a jackass and tease me now that he is home. What I don’t expect is to hear Emmett’s voice on the other side of the door. But honestly, after the day I’m having, I shouldn’t be surprised.
“You okay in there?”
“No.” I try not to cry and succeed. Barely.
“Can I come in?” He sounds gentler than he’s ever sounded before, at least where I am concerned.
I think about keeping the door locked and just letting him rot out there with everyone else. But he’s the closest thing I’ll get to Cole’s family, and I need to talk to him.
I answer by unlocking the door and stepping back. Emmett doesn’t disappoint. He immediately steps in, shutting the door in his wife’s face. Then he locks it for good measure.
“Now we can talk.” He doesn’t look at me, though. He is staring at the same test I’ve been staring at for the last hour. “Is it Cole’s?”
Nodding, I try not to get upset at his insinuation that I’ve been seeing someone else. “I have to call him.”
Emmett leans against the bathroom counter while I sit perched on the edge of the tub. With his arms crossed over his chest, he looks every inch the horrifying businessman that Sori says he is at work. The grim expression on his face doesn’t give away any emotion he may be hiding beneath the surface.
“He won’t answer,” is his only response. “When he went overseas, he temporarily shut his phone off. And I’m not sure he’d want to talk to you anyway.”
I don’t know if Emmett is purposefully trying to hurt me, but his words sting. They cut deep, but it is all my fault. Even with the knowledge that Cole was involved in Cassie’s accident, I can’t justify the rage I’d felt in that moment.
“He deserves to know.” I won’t ever hide or keep his child from him.
Emmett watches me with open criticism. He takes in every move I make, every breath I take, and I do my best not to slap him upside the head. Cole is his family and I know from experience that you have to protect your family—no matter what.
I am so tired of crying, of being stressed out about every single thing. Wondering if Cole can ever forgive me.
“If you don’t help me, I’m going to drive down to New York, show up at your grandmother’s house, and ask her to help me instead. I’m not going to waste my time on a call when it comes to a baby in the family.”
Emmett’s eye twitches, but he doesn’t move a muscle. “What makes you think she’ll help you?”
He’s testing me. Poking and prodding for a weakness. If I hadn’t been raised around cops, firemen, dispatchers, and other military members, Emmett wouldstillnot have been even the slightest bit intimidating.
I deadpan, “Because Cole’s her favorite.” Then I watch a mixture of emotions cross his face. Shock that I’ve said it. A little bit of disbelief because no one in his family ever acknowledges the fact that Cole is the favorite. Then finally admiration at the fact that I’ve called him on his bullshit.
“Touché.” Emmett uncrosses his arms and smacks his lips together. “I can arrange for you to talk to him tomorrow. Would that be okay?”
I am already nodding before he finishes asking the question. “Yeah. I want to talk to him as soon as possible.”
Emmett closes his eyes momentarily, taking a deep breath. “Cole asked me not to tell you where he was.” He reaches out and pulls me into a hug. “And I can’t break that promise. But I want you to know that you and that baby will always be part of this family. No matter what happens with him after your talk.”
If I had been surprised by him knocking on the bathroom door, I sure as hell am not expecting him to hug me. Even if it feels stilted and awkward, I know that he is trying, and that’s all that matters. Especially when he thinks I’ve betrayed his cousin.
“You know your whole family is out there, waiting to find out if you’re carrying the latest generation, right?” He looks down at me with an unknown emotion flashing through his eyes.
“Yeah,” I admit. “Before you knocked, I was trying to determine how to climb out of this second-story bathroom and land safely on the ground without hurting the baby.” Even as I tell him my plan, I shoot a longing glance at the window and the freedom it offers.
“I think your best option is to rip off the Band-Aid. Get it out of the way fast, and then tell them that you’re not feeling well. They’ll leave you alone after that.” Emmett winks. “Sori did it all the time when she was pregnant with Laurence. She used to say that it’s the only time that she got to be a crybaby.”
So that’s exactly what I do and why I find myself back at my house an hour later with only Remy, Emmett, and Sori as company.
