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“I haven’t known what to do these last few weeks. I wanted to see you and apologize, but I didn’t know how upset you were and since you went out of your way to avoid me I thought maybe it was best to leave you be for a while. You’re so damn young, honey. It’s hard. I want to be the one who opens you up and finds out what’s inside you, what makes you Abby. But at the same time, you haven’t lived much and maybe you don’t want to be tied to one person, even if it’s just for a while, even if right now you think you do.”
He took hold of her chin and met her gaze. “I’m not perfect, Abby. I don’t have all the right answers. I don’t even know if it’s a good thing for you to be with me given your inexperience. All I know is, the more you show me of you, the more I want. It’s like a spark inside me caught fire and I have to know more.
“Baby, I’m a hard man sometimes. I want things that are hard to give simply because it’s hard to give them. And maybe once all the newness wears off you’ll figure out that you just want a nice, safe vanilla boyfriend and every once in a while you crack open a bottle of wine and ask him to spank you. Fuck, Abby, I’m not even sure I know exactly what I want anymore. I used to know. I used to know myself precisely but you….do things to me.”
“Like what?” she asked quietly.
“Like enemas. I’ve given them. I’ve enjoyed that my subs have enjoyed it. But I’ve never really cared that much about them one way or the other. But fucking hell. Seeing you on your knees, submitting to me, taking all that water inside you, it makes me rock fucking hard, Abby. That’s never been one of my fetishes, but I think it is now. You’re changing me. And it scares the shit out of me.”
Lightening the mood, Abby suddenly giggled. “Poor choice of words,” she told him.
He grinned and rolled his eyes. “God, Abby I see you and I just…I wonder what’s fucking possible. What’s off limits just because it seems like it ought to be and not because it really should be?” He sighed. “I’m not even making sense.”
She shook her head. “It makes sense to me. You think I’ve ever let a man put his tongue where you did tonight? I wouldn’t have even let a guy talk to me about that before I met you. It just always seemed so…taboo. Dirty and wrong. But you showed me I’m not dirty. And you made me all sparkling clean inside and out just so I could let go and give that part of myself to you. I’ve never come that hard before.”
She put her hands down on the carpet and pushed herself up, careful to keep his penis still lodged in her. “Let’s not stop, Mark. I don’t want to stop. Not now. Not yet. I couldn’t bear it if you showed me all these things and then took them away. There’s no fucking way I could ever talk to someone else and ask for these things you do to me. I don’t know even know what half of them are!”
He chuckled. “But Abby-”
“No!” she protested. “Let’s just keep going. And if we hit a stumbling block, we get over it. Somehow. And we just keep going until we hit a wall and have to end it if we can’t find a way over. I don’t know if I want to get married, Mark. I agree we don’t know each other well enough yet. But my first thought wasn’t ‘hell no’ and that’s something, right?”
He looked at her a long time. “Are you sure?”
“Yes, Master,” she replied, grinning.
“Abby,” he said, warning her.
“Yes, Mark. I’m sure.” She thought for a moment. “Except, new rule, no peeing on the lawn.”
He pulled her back down to him and hugged her. “Jesus God, I’m so sorry about that. I was so fucking mad that you wouldn’t obey and I was mad that you wanted to know all my secrets but wouldn’t tell me yours and I fucked up. I used to think that not punishing a sub in anger meant just not hitting them. But now I know all kinds of punishments can hurt when they’re applied wrong. I’m so, so sorry, Abby. Why did you even do it?”
“Because I was afraid of the cane.”
He let out a long breath. “Oh motherfuck me. I know how to use the cane in a hundred different ways. Not all of them even hurt. I was just trying to scare you into obeying. Abby please forgive me. I know I have no right to ask for it. I didn’t break your hard limits, but I knew that would be a lot for you to handle and I made you do it anyway just to prove a point.”
