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Wanting someone else was dangerous.
She undid her legs from around his waist and pulled back from his kiss. “You don’t get to decide.” She stumbled.
Ollie caught her and pulled her back. “I do.”
“No. You don’t,” she said and pushed against his chest.
“You want me, Tarley, as much as I want you. Your kiss tells me so. Your tongue.” He reached down and cupped her sex. She moaned, pressing closer despite her resolve. When his fingers attended to her most sensitive place, her body ignored the resolve as well, and she leaned into it, grasping onto his shoulders for support. “That tells me.” His lips found her mouth, kissing her deeply, his hands doing things inspiring a moan from her that he swallowed. “Your sounds tell me.”
She pushed him away, angry at herself for being so pliable with him. “You don’t get to decide.”
“I’m–” But he stopped, shutting his mouth.
“You’re what?” she asked.
He shook his head, refusing to give voice to what he’d been about to say.
“I’m a grown woman, Ollie. I’ve been taking care of myself without anyone, and I will continue to take care of myself without anyone. That is what I want.”
His eyes narrowed, and she noticed the captivating shade of green and gray threaded with something darker.
“Is it really Tarley? Or are you just pushing me away because I’m upsetting whatever it is you have in your head as the way it should be?” He stepped closer, and she held her ground, refusing to give him the satisfaction of knowing how much his proximity was messing with her resolve. “No onewantsto hide in the woods alone.”
An angry flint sparked in her chest. “When the world is filled with liars, they do.” She knew she’d hit her mark because he took a step back. She poked at him. “You can’t even tell me the truth.”
He shook his head. “I did. You just didn’t believe me, and you’ve spent the rest of the time reminding me how I couldn’t know things because of my fucking boots.” He leaned toward her, his chest heaving with annoyance, but his eyes flitted to her mouth, then back to her eyes. He straightened. “You tell me, Tarley. Why would I trust you with the truth?” He turned, walked away, and disappeared through the woods back toward the camp.
Unsure what he meant, she whirled with a frustrated huff back to the river running swiftly past. The rain was waning, now just intermittent droplets. She tried to recall him telling her and couldn’t recall it. He was lying, but she couldn’t fault him for it. If only her words hadn’t made her feel slightly ill-at-ease with her choice.
But this was safest.
It wasn’t as if they had a future.
When she got back to camp shivering inside her wet shirt, Ollie had a fire started, and he’d strung up the blanket to dry. The sight of him made her cheeks heat, thinking about what had occurred between them earlier, but she knew this—distance—was easier in the long run. She didn’t need the complication of coming to want something with him.
He didn’t love her.
She didn’t love him.
They would go their separate ways.
He glanced at her when she walked into camp, then looked away quickly as he poked at the fire.
“Are you pouting?” she asked.
“No.” He stabbed at a coal.
She stepped up next to the fire and held out her hands toward the heat. “You seem like you’re pouting.”
He looked at her, his eyes skittering like a rock skipping over water, then looked away. “I’m not pouting.”
She bumped him with her shoulder, trying to cajole him into a better mood like he was always doing to her. “I’m sorry for insinuating you were a liar.”
He shrugged at the fire, not looking at her. “It’s fine.”
But she could tell it wasn’t. He was different. His teasing was gone. The banter had slid down the river with the rain, and she found she missed it even when she’d thought it irritated her.
She suddenly swayed and grasped onto his arm to keep herself upright. Ollie, the fire, the campsite, the woods beyond jerked back and forth in her line of vision, then flared bright so she had to close her eyes. She stumbled again and there was Ollie’s voice in the distance, but she couldn’t discern what he said.
